What has a face and two hands but no arms or legs?
A clock
I have cities but no houses, rivers but no water, and forests but no trees. What am I?
A map.
If there are 6 apples and you take away 4, how many do you have?
4
What goes up but never comes down?
Your age
I’m always in front of you but can’t be seen. What am I?
The future
What goes up but never comes down?
Your age
A rooster lays an egg on the roof of a house. Which way does it roll?
None — roosters don’t lay eggs
Two fathers and two sons go fishing. They catch 3 fish and each person gets one. How is this possible?
They are grandfather, father, and son
What has many keys but can’t open a single door?
A piano
A man is pushing his car along the street and comes to a hotel. He shouts, “I’m bankrupt!” Why?
He’s playing Monopoly.
If you have it, you don’t want to share it. If you share it, you don’t have it. What is it?
A secret
If you pass the person in second place, what place are you in?
Second
I am not alive, but I grow; I don’t have lungs, but I need air; I don’t have a mouth, but water kills me. What am I?
Fire
What gets wetter the more it dries?
A towel
I have keys but no locks. I have space but no rooms. You can enter but can’t go outside. What am I?
A keyboard
A man is looking at a photograph. Someone asks, “Who is it?”
He replies: “Brothers and sisters, I have none. But that man’s father is my father’s son.”
Who is in the photograph?
His son
Which month has 28 days?
All of them
What word becomes shorter when you add two letters to it?
Short
I speak all languages, but I have no mouth. I answer every question, but I have no brain. What am I?
An echo
If two’s company and three’s a crowd, what are four and five?
Nine
You see a boat filled with people. It has not sunk, but when you look again, there is not a single person on board. Why?
All the people are married
Forward I am heavy, backward I am not. What am I?
The word “ton.”
Why can’t your nose be 12 inches long?
Because then it would be a foot
What can you hold in your left hand but not in your right?
Your right hand.
I’m light as a feather, but even the world’s strongest man cannot hold me for long. What am I?
Breath