Cooked Books
Named after the Italian swindler Charles, this scheme involves paying earlier investors using the money from new investors—basically how Social Security works, but illegal.
What is a Ponzi Scheme?
This Italian dessert literally translates to "pick me up," likely because it contains enough espresso to power a junior analyst through an all-nighter.
What is Tiramisu?
We aren't sure who decided that drinking raw eggs, cream, and sugar was a good idea, but add enough rum to this beverage and we stop asking questions.
What is Eggnog?
In Elf, Buddy explains that elves stick to the four main food groups: Candy, Candy Canes, Candy Corn, and this sweet liquid.
What is Syrup?
Every year on November 1st, this singer defrosts from cryosleep to collect her millions in royalties for "All I Want for Christmas Is You."
Who is Mariah Carey?
This energy company was once named "America's Most Innovative Company" for six years straight, until everyone realized their revenue was imaginary and their auditor, Arthur Andersen, started shredding documents.
What is Enron?
This cake is the biggest lie in the dessert world; it claims to be a special flavor, but it’s really just chocolate cake with a ton of red food dye.
What is Red Velvet?
In the current economy, the "True Love" from the song 12 Days of Christmas went significantly over budget on day 5 when he bought five of these gold items.
What are Golden Rings?
In National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation, Clark Griswold expects a big cash bonus but instead receives a one-year membership to this disappointing club.
What is the "Jelly of the Month" Club?
In the song Frosty the Snowman, the children commit a reckless act of magic by placing an old silk hat on a pile of snow. The snow then came to life thanks to this specific item on his face.
What is a Button (nose)?
She wore black turtlenecks, faked a deep voice, and convinced the world she could run hundreds of medical tests on a single drop of blood.
Who is Elizabeth Holmes (or Theranos)?
This dough has more layers than a complex nested "IF" statement and is used to make Baklava.
What is Phyllo?
Americans are often confused by this December 26th holiday, assuming it involves a wrestling match rather than its true British origin of giving gifts to tradespeople.
What is Boxing Day?
This 2003 British rom-com follows eight different couples and features a famous scene where a man professes his love using cue cards on a doorstep.
What is Love Actually?
The lyrics "The very next day, you gave it away" in the song Last Christmas represents a terrible Return on Investment (ROI) for the gift giver.
What is Wham! (or George Michael)?
This "King of Crypto" ran his exchange from a penthouse in the Bahamas while playing League of Legends during meetings, right up until $8 billion went missing.
Who is Sam Bankman-Fried (or SBF / FTX)?
This dessert involves putting ice cream in the oven, a high-risk strategy that yields a high reward if the meringue insulates it correctly.
What is Baked Alaska?
If you don't submit your budget on time, Santa doesn't visit. Instead, this horned, half-goat demon from folklore comes to punish you.
Who is Krampus?
In the song from the 1966 classic How the Grinch Stole Christmas, the singer states he wouldn't touch the Grinch with a pole of this very specific length.
What is a 39-and-a-half foot pole?
This "King of Pop" released Thriller, which isn't a holiday album, but the zombies in the video look exactly like the finance team during Budget Season.
Who is Michael Jackson?
In 2020, this German payment processor collapsed after admitting that €1.9 billion of cash on its balance sheet—supposedly sitting in banks in the Philippines—did not actually exist.
What is Wirecard?
New Zealand and Australia have a longstanding geopolitical conflict over who invented this meringue-based dessert named after a Russian ballerina.
What is the Pavlova?
In The Nutcracker, Clara visits this magical land, which is basically a dentist's nightmare and an auditor's sweet dream (inventory wise).
What is the Land of Sweets?
This 1946 Frank Capra classic was a box office flop when released, but is now considered the definitive Christmas movie about a banker named George Bailey.
What is It’s a Wonderful Life?
This artist dropped two folk albums in 2020 because she clearly wasn't busy doing month-end close like the rest of us.
Who is Taylor Swift?