Overview
Which essay has the stronger overview?
Essay A.
Find one comparison linker used in both essays.
whereas
in contrast
although
Find 3 strong academic verbs in Essay A.
Which essay uses more complex sentences?
Essay A
Which IELTS band is each essay?
Essay A = 7
Essay B = 5
Find two phrases in Essay A that make the overview more academic.
increased dramatically
declined sharply
rose steadily
Which essay compares data more effectively?
Essay A
Why does “declined sharply” sound stronger than “went down”?
It is more precise and academic.
Find one complex sentence linker in Essay A.
whereas
while
however
Why would Essay B struggle to reach Band 7?
vocabulary too basic
less sophisticated analysis
fewer complex structures
simpler overview
Why is Essay B’s overview weaker than Essay A?
It is clear but too simple and not detailed enough.
Why is this comparison strong? “The percentage of people using bicycles tripled from 10% to 30%, although it still remained lower than car use…”
It combines data, comparison and complex grammar in one sentence.
Which essay has more varied vocabulary?
Essay A
Why does Essay A score higher for grammar?
It uses more varied and accurate sentence structures.
Which areas improve the MOST from Essay B to Essay A, so that is gets a higher score?
Which essay explains overall trends more effectively?
Essay A because it summarises the main changes more clearly.
Find a sentence in Essay B that mainly reports information instead of analysing it.
“By 2020, car usage had increased to 70%...”
Find simple vocabulary that limits the band score.
increased
decreased
more popular
What makes this sentence grammatically strong Although it still remained lower than car use at the end of the period.
It is a complex sentence.
Which essay sounds more analytical and why?
Essay A: It explains trends instead of mostly reporting data.
Improve this: “Car use increased and bus use decreased.”
“Overall, car usage rose significantly during the period, whereas bus travel declined steadily and became less popular by 2020.”
Turn this sentence into a higher band: “Bus use fell to 20%.”
“Overall, car usage rose significantly during the period, whereas bus travel declined steadily and became less popular by 2020.”
Replace this phrase with stronger vocabulary: “became more popular”
gained popularity over the period,
rose considerably throughout the decade
Rewrite this using a complex sentence: Car use increased. Bus use decreased.
Whereas car usage rose substantially during the period, bus travel fell steadily by 2020.
Improve THREE sentences from Essay B to Band 7 level.
Explain what you have improved