16th Century Bullshit
What purple beast, in childhood’s realm, doth sing and dance with mirth, though he be no creature found upon this mortal earth?
Who is Barney?
She sings "Firework" and engages in daily battles with Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz
Who is Katy Perry the Platypus?
me when I'm chainmail
Body Armor
What ailment brings to joints a pain, and makes the weary movement strain?
What is Arthritis?
Wade Wilson crashes your backyard summer celebration
What is a Deadpool party?
me when I'm a horse-donkey hybrid from Russia's capital
Moscow Mule
What sportive spectacle doth set forth the pups to play, whilst masters of the gridiron vie another day?
What is the Puppy Bowl?
A classic American sandwich made with sweet ground beef and onions competes in a show where four lifelong friends compete to embarrass each other
Who is Sloppy Joe Gatto?
me when I'm the engine in a Ford Mustang GT
V8
This mad marsupial, orange of hue, doth spin and leap through lands anew; what game-born beast doth foil the schemes of Cortex most foul?
Who is Crash Bandicoot?
Breaking News: Foot lettuce found in the Palace of Versailles
What is Burger King Louis XIV?
me when I stab everyone's favorite magical English nanny
Bloody Mary
What scourge, borne upon the flea, did o’er the kingdoms sweep, leaving countless souls in earth to sleep?
What is the Bubonic Plague?
A song by The Rolling Stones about a 2022 American superhero film starring Dwayne Johnson
What is Paint it, Black Adam?
me when I'm asked which Texas-based football team I think will win the AAC
Shirley Temple