How my behavior affects others
You keep interrupting your friend while he is telling a story. How might your friend feel?
Annoyed, frustrated
Three kids are playing basketball. One looks at you, smiles and moves over to make room for you. Are they showing you that it is ok to join them? What are the clues?
Yes, smiling, looking at and making space for someone are welcoming clues.
Anxious thought: “Nobody is going to talk to me.”
Question: Change it!
“I don't know that yet. I can try talking to someone.”
You love talking about Pokémon, but your friend keeps looking away and giving one-word answers.
Question: What might your friend be thinking?
He may not be interested or may want to change the subject.
What is the capital city of New Jersey?
Trenton
Your friend makes a mistake during a game and you say, "Wow, you're terrible at this!" How could your comment affect him?
He may feel embassarred and hurt
A group is playing a game. When you walk over, nobody looks at you and they continue talking quietly to each other. Should you immediately jump into the game?
Probably not, wait to see if they give you any welcoming clues.
Anxious thought: “If I say something weird, everyone will laugh at me.”
Question: Change it!
“Everyone says awkward things sometimes. It probably won't be a big deal.”
You think you're being funny, but your sister tells you, “Stop. That's annoying.”
Question: Whose perspective matters?
Both of ours. I may think I'm being funny, but she may actually feel annoyed.
Name a holiday you celebrate in October.
Halloween
You really want everyone to play the game you chose, and you keep arguing when they suugest something different. What might the other kids think?
You are being too bossy and not willing to compromise
Two kids are talking. You wial closer and one turns toward you and makes eye contact. Is that a welcoming or unwelcoming clue?
Welcoming
Anxious thought: “I don't know anyone at this party, so it's going to be terrible.”
Question: Change it!
“It might feel uncomfortable at first, but I could meet someone and have fun.”
Your friend doesn't say hello to you in the hallway.
Question: Name TWO possibilities besides “He's mad at me.”
He didn't see me, was distracted, was thinking about something, was in a hurry, etc.
What ocean do we live near?
Atlantic Ocean
You are uncomfortable in a group, so you try to be funny by making jokes about another kid. Everyone laughs. How would the other kid feel?
embarrassed and hurt
You walk toward a group at recess. One kid smiles, another moves over, but nobody actually says, “Come play.”
Question: What could you do?
Ask, “Can I play?” or “What are you guys playing?”
Anxious thought: “Those kids didn't ask me to join, so they definitely don't like me.”
Question: Change it!
“There could be lots of reasons they didn't ask me. I can look for clues or try talking to them.”
You want to explain why you're right during an argument, but the other person is getting quieter, looking away, and backing up.
Question: What might that person want you to do?
Stop arguing, give them space, or change the subject.
What city and state is Disney World in?
Orlando, Florida
You notice that whenever you get frustrated, you start correcting people or tell them what to do. What could happen over time if you continue to do this?
Kids may not want to hang out with you.
You approach a group and notice crossed arms, little eye contact, people turning away, and very short answers to your questions.
Question: What are these clues telling you?
The group may not be welcoming right now. I can give them space and find another person or activity.
Anxious thought: “If I don't know what to say, everyone will think I'm weird.”
Question: Give yourself a helpful statement AND an action you can take.
“I don't have to say something perfect. I can ask someone a question about what they're doing.”
You made a joke about another kid because you wanted the group to laugh. They laughed, but the kid became quiet afterward.
Question: Explain the situation from your perspective AND the other kid's perspective.
I may have thought I was being funny and helping myself fit in. The other kid may have felt embarrassed, hurt, or picked on.
Fill in the blank.
May the __________ be with you.
Force