Anger Basics
Question: True or false: The goal of anger management is to never feel angry again.
False. Anger is a normal emotion. The goal is learning how to recognize it and respond to it in healthier ways.
What is a trigger or triggering event?
The situation or event that sets anger in motion.
What does a 10 represent?
Explosive anger or loss of behavioral control that can result in negative consequences.
What are the two types of strategies we've talked about in an Anger Control Plan?
Preventive strategies and immediate strategies.
What are the three phases of the Aggression Cycle?
Buildup → Explosion → Aftermath
What is the difference between anger and aggression?
Anger is an emotion. Aggression is a behavior.
What is a red flag?
A personally sensitive issue or type of situation that tends to make certain triggers especially powerful.
Examples could include disrespect, rejection, being ignored, unfairness, embarrassment, dishonesty, or feeling controlled.
True or false: Everyone should give the same situation the same Anger Meter number.
False
Getting regular exercise and working on getting enough sleep are examples of what type of strategy?
Preventive strategies.
What happens during the buildup phase?
Anger begins escalating and warning signs or cues start appearing.
True or false: Feeling angry means you are eventually going to become aggressive.
False. Anger does not automatically lead to aggression.
Name the four categories of anger cues or warning signs.
• Physical
• Behavioral
• Emotional
• Cognitive
Why is it important to recognize your anger at a 3, 4, or 5 instead of waiting until you're at a 9?
Because we generally have more control and more choices earlier in the escalation and can use our Anger Control Plan before reaching 10.
You're at a 6 during an argument and decide to step away before you say something you'll regret. Is that preventive or immediate?
Immediate
What Anger Meter number is associated with the explosion phase?
10
Name one possible short term payoff someone might get from anger.
• People back off
• People leave them alone
• They feel heard
• They feel powerful or in control
• They release tension
• They get what they want in the moment
Your heart starts racing, your face gets hot, and your jaw tightens. What type of anger cues are these?
Physical cues.
You're at a 5 during an argument. The other person starts yelling, insulting you, and bringing up the past. You notice yourself move to an 8. What does this show us about the Anger Meter?
Our anger level can change as the situation changes. The number isn't stuck, and certain events, thoughts, or behaviors can increase our anger.
What is the purpose of a timeout?
To interrupt the escalation, create space, lower the Anger Meter, and regain enough control to make a better decision.
What does “aftermath” mean in the Aggression Cycle?
The consequences that happen after an aggressive response.
Name one possible long term cost of poorly managed anger.
• Relationship problems
• Job or school problems
• Legal consequences
• Financial consequences
• Recovery problems
• Health consequences
• Guilt
• Shame
• Regret
• Loss of trust
Someone doesn't answer your text. You start thinking, “They're ignoring me on purpose. They don't respect me.” What type of anger cue is that?
Cognitive or thought cue.
What could potentially bring an 8 back down?
Coping skills
Anger Control Plan
What's the difference between taking a healthy timeout and storming out of an argument?
A healthy timeout has a purpose. The person recognizes that anger is escalating, creates space, does something to lower their anger, and returns to the issue when appropriate. Storming out can simply continue or escalate the conflict.
Someone criticizes you in front of other people. You feel embarrassed. Your face gets hot. You think, ‘They're trying to make me look stupid.’ You start talking louder and your Anger Meter goes from a 4 to a 7.”
“What phase of the Aggression Cycle are you in, and where is the point of choice?”
Buildup. The person has not reached explosion yet, so there is still an opportunity to use the Anger Control Plan to interrupt the escalation.