Name That Style
“I don’t care, do whatever you want.”
Passive
“Ugh, whatever, I’ll just do it.” (Passive)
“I’d like us to split this task so it’s fair. Can you take on your part?”
Classmate interrupts you constantly
“I’d like to finish my thought, and then I’d love to hear your perspective.”
Misheard: “You’re rude for not inviting me!”
“I feel left out when I’m not included. Can you invite me next time?”
Group project partner turns in work late
“When assignments come in late, it hurts the group. Can you submit your part on time?”
“This is ridiculous, you’re so lazy!”
Aggressive
“You’re impossible to live with!”
“I’m frustrated when our living space feels tense. Can we talk about how to make it work better?”
Roommate eats your food without asking.
“I feel frustrated when my food is taken without asking. Can we agree to check before sharing?’
Misheard: “You’re always loud and annoying.”
“Can we agree on quiet hours so I can get better sleep?”
Teammate ignores your suggestions.
“I’d like my ideas to be considered during practice. Can we talk them through before deciding?”
“I feel stressed when the dishes pile up. Can we make a plan to share chores?”
Assertive
“You keep blasting music at 1am, and I can’t sleep.”
“When music plays late at night, I lose sleep. Could you use headphones after midnight?”
Friend cancels plans last minute.
“I’m disappointed when our plans get canceled last minute. Can you give me more notice next time?”
Misheard: “You never respect my time.”
I’d appreciate it if you text me when you’re running late.
Friend borrows clothes without asking.
“I feel uncomfortable when my clothes are borrowed without permission. Can you ask me first?”
“Fine. I’ll do it all myself…again.”
Passive
“It’s fine, don’t worry about paying me back.”
“I need you to pay me back the money I covered. Can you do that by the end of the week?”
Coworker takes credit for your idea.
“I’d like to clarify that I came up with that idea, and I’m happy to collaborate further on it.”
Misheard: “You’re so messy, clean up already.”
“I feel overwhelmed when chores pile up. Can we split responsibilities?”
Roommate’s partner stays over every night.
“I need more personal space in our room. Can we set boundaries around overnight guests?”
“You never listen to me, and I’m sick of it!”
Aggressive
“This project sucks because you’re the worst partner ever.”
“I’m stressed about our project because tasks aren’t getting done. Can we make a clear plan together?”
Significant other shows up late.
I feel unimportant when you arrive late. Can we agree on being on time for plans?”
Misheard: “You’re inconsiderate and last-minute.”
“I need more advance notice for plans so I can prepare.”
You feel excluded when friends make plans without you.
“I feel left out when I’m not included in plans. I’d appreciate being invited in the future.”