Fringe Religions
This religion, founded by Joseph Smith, believes that Jesus Christ was born in America, and has many followers in Utah
Mormonism
Short phrase used to express fear
Ay! Tengo Miedo!
JFK
Lee Harvey Oswald (Also accepting the CIA)
This god married his wife Persephone by splitting the earth open while riding a chariot, kidnapping her out of a meadow and dragging her back to hell
Hades
A mis padres no les importo.
My parents don't care about me
This Indian religion was founded by guru Nanak, and celebrates service, honesty, equality of all castes, also Raj Singh and Manpreet Kaur follow this religion.
Sikhism
Used to change the subject, featuring a flying insect
A otra cosa, Mariposa
Abraham Lincoln
John Wilkes Booth
This god turned his lover, Io, into a white cow to hide her from Hera. Calling his bluff, Hera sent the three furies to chase Io throughout all of Europe and Asia.
Zeus
No te pedí que hicieras nada.
I didn't ask you to do anything
The Amish live away from society to avoid the temptations of modern life, but many do not know they are an offshoot of this religion that still lives in cities despite their beliefs. (Also my grandparents are this religion so you should know)
Mennonites
Que te pasa, calabaza?
James Earl Ray (Also accepting the CIA)
This virgin goddess of the hunt infamously killed her lover Orion because he tried to assault one of her handmaidens, and from that point on forbid her followers to have lovers
Artemis
El español no es un idioma real, así que puedes decir lo que quieras.
Spanish isn't a real language so you can say whatever you want
Often called a cult, this religion founded by L. Ron Hubbard believes that a god named Xenu created all evil. Many celebrities subscribe to this church, such as John Travolta and Tom Cruise
The Church of Scientology
Why u late cuh?
Porque llegas tarde?
James Garfield (20th president of the United States)
Charles J Giteau (Because James wouldn't give him a job)
In the first completely consensual relationship on this list, this god courted the prince Hyacinthus, but then accidentally killed him with a discus after Zephyr, the west wind, blew it back into his head
Apollo
No tengo descuento de empleado; simplemente robo.
I don't have an employee discount I just steal
Branch Davidians
Shut up, cut it out
Corta el rollo!
Archduke Franz Ferdinand
Gavrilo Princep (After three Tuberculosis patients failed to use grenades correctly)
This nature and satyr god chased a nymph named Syrinx through the woods until she turned herself into marsh reeds. Wanting to put his lips over her, he invented panpipes and named them after himself
Pan
Mi papá compró dos silbatos de la muerte aztecas, usó ambos y eligió cuál era su favorito.
My dad bought two aztec death whistles used them both and picked which one was his favorite