Resilience & Coping
What are 3 types of ways to respond to stress?
Passive, Reactive, and Proactive
What is personal space?
Physical space immediately surrounding someone. Anyone that tries to invade your personal space may feel uncomfortable or threatening!
Leaders are often proactive. How can you be proactive in this situation: You offer an idea of an activity to do with your friends, and one of them says, "That's stupid!"
Use positive self talk like, "Maybe he or she doesn't like my idea, but it's not stupid". Brainstorm ways to reach common ground with your friend.
Does Lisa create a Conversation Builder or Buster?:
Suzie: Hey Lisa, how are you today?
Lisa: Good.
Conversation Buster!
(Answered with one word instead of elaborating)
Guess the meaning: Smiling - what might this body language mean?
Happy
Flip your brain to think about the situation more optimistically: You wanted to hang out with your friend, but they are busy.
They are busy this time, but we can hang out another time!
What does social problem solving mean?
Finding solutions to friendship problems. Figuring out how to fix a problem with a friend.
This group member has a pet named "Clover."
Chelsea
(& Dr. Erin)
What is empathy?
The ability to understand and share the feelings of another- to stand in their shoes or take their perspective.
You failed a math test and you respond by ignoring the problem. What kind of stress response is this?
What are 3 examples of invading someone's personal space?
ex: standing or sitting uncomfortably close to someone, pointing your finger in someone's face, hitting someone, hugging or tickling someone when it's not welcome, interrupting, saying mean things
Leaders also communicate effectively. Which response is a better way to communicate: You're explaining the rules of a game to your sibling. You might say, "You have to do it this way" in a bossy tone. Or you might say, "The way I learned to play is this way", in a calm and friendly tone.
The second option - "The way I learned to play is this way", in a calm and friendly tone.
Does Suzie create a Conversation Builder or Buster?:
Lisa: Hey Suzie, what did you do this weekend?
Suzie: I went to the movies with my siblings.
Conversation Buster!
(Did not build the conversation by asking a question or sharing more detail)
Guess the Meaning: Clenched fists - what might this body language mean?
Anger
Flip your brain to think about the situation more optimistically: You received a poor grade on a test.
This is just one test and I can learn from my mistakes.
You and your friend disagree on which game to play, so you give up and do whatever your friend wants to do. Did this effectively solve the problem?
No. It's okay to disagree with your friend and it is important to be assertive in standing up for what you want. You can better solve the problem by compromising.
This group member can write in a different language.
Grace
How can we show empathy?
Reading another's cues
Mindfully listening to someone and trying to understand their experience by reflecting back what they said
Sharing their emotions and helping them to feel better
Do something kind for them
You worked on a project that was hard to do and got frustrated, you respond by getting mad at the teacher. What kind of stress response is this?
Reactive
What does being "in sync with others" mean?
Matching your behavior or actions to the situation you are in and to what others are doing.
Leaders know how to maintain self-control. How would you maintain self-control in this situation: Your sibling takes the remote and changes the channel while you were watching TV.
Stay calm, take deep breaths, calmly ask for the remote back.
Does Lisa create a Conversation Builder or Buster?:
Suzie: Hey Lisa, how is school going?
Lisa: I like school a lot! Math is my favorite subject. What is your favorite school subject?
Conversation Builder!
(Practiced social reciprocity by asking a question)
Guess the meaning: Eye contact, leaning forward - what might this body language mean?
Showing interest or has a secret to share
Flip your brain to think about the situation more optimistically: When there are things you want to do but you can't because of the pandemic.
Maybe there is something new I can do instead!
You feel that your friend acts bossy with you, so you firmly say to your friend: "When you tell me what to do, it makes me angry because it annoys me. Please stop telling me what to do." Did this effectively solve the problem?
Yes! It's important to be assertive by telling your friend that you do not like to be bossed around (MI-Message). Your friend may not even realize what they are doing!
This group member has two pet dogs.
Paz
Why is it important for relationships to show empathy toward others?
It builds relationships- helps you feel closer to other people and helps other people trust you more.
Someone talks to you in a mean way, you respond by telling the person in a firm voice how you feel using a MI-Message. What kind of stress response is this?
Proactive
You are at the movies so you decide to start talking out loud to your friend next to you. Are you "in sync with others"?
No!
Leaders know how to be a good team player. How would you be a good team player in this situation: Your parents give you and your sibling a long list of chores to complete.
Work together and split up the chores evenly.
Does Suzie create a Conversation Builder or Buster?:
Lisa: Hey Suzie, I tried spaghetti this weekend and it was so good!
Suzie: Ew, spaghetti is gross.
Conversation Buster!
(Made a negative comment which can shut down or stop a conversation)
Guess the meaning: shoulders back, head up - what might this body language mean?
Confident, proud
Flip your brain to think about the situation more optimistically: You're working on a math problem that you can't seem to solve.
Give yourself a break. Use positive self-talk like, "I am smart enough to solve this problem, maybe I just need a break"
You and your sibling both want to stretch out on the couch and watch TV but there is room for only one person to lie down, so you get angry and yell at them. Did this solve the problem?
No. Take a deep breath and find a solution to compromise. If one person gets to lie down, then the other person can decide on what to watch.
This group member taught us a new game for free time.
Genevieve
Your friend is upset about a bad grade they received on a test, so you say, "I'm sorry that you didn't do so well on your test and I understand how you might feel upset right now. Is there something I can do to help?" Does this show empathy?
Yes!
Which stress response produces the best outcomes?
Proactive
You are at a baseball game and everyone else around you is making a lot of noise and cheering. You cheer along. Are you "in sync with others"?
Yes!
Leaders know how to give and receive compliments. What is the most important part of giving a meaningful compliment to a friend?
Make sure that it is sincere or genuine!
Does Lisa create a Conversation Builder or Buster?:
Suzie: Hi Lisa, how was your weekend?
Lisa: Really good! I watched all the Harry Potter movies with my siblings. Do you like Harry Potter?
Conversation Builder!
(Provided some detail and asked the other person a question)
Guess the meaning: Yawn, look away - what might this body language mean?
Bored, tired, thinking of something else
Flip your brain to think about the situation more optimistically: When you are trying to read a book but your sibling keeps bugging you to play with them.
I can put down my book for a bit to play with my sibling. It's nice that they want to hang out with me.
It bothers you when your friend comes over and uses your stuff without asking, but you don't say anything. Did this solve the problem?
No. Be assertive and tell your friend that they are welcome to use your stuff, but you would appreciate it if they asked first.
This group member participates in both cheer leading and gymnastics.
Zora
Your friend calls you and she's angry because her parents grounded her for something she did not do. You say, "That stinks." Does this show empathy?
No! (it's a good start, but what would make it a better response? "I'm sorry you're grounded- that sounds unfair! Maybe you can explain your side after your parents have calmed down?")