OPEX
This “line item” spikes on weeknights when nobody wants to cook.
What is takeout?
The first major joint purchase that comes flat-packed with assembly instructions.
What is Ikea furniture? (but is it really CAPEX?!)
The seasonal dispute that always ends with sweaters or higher bills.
What is the thermostat setting?
Forgetting this date is considered a major safety violation.
What is your anniversary?
The first supplies to stockpile before a household “storm” rolls in
What are wine and chocolate?
Alt Answer:
What are peanut butter and bagels?
A recurring cost that mysteriously multiplies after combining households: Netflix, Hulu, Disney+, Max…
What are streaming services?
The most dazzling asset, but one that requires ongoing maintenance (cleanings, insurance, resizing).
What is the engagement ring?
A sudden spike in Starbucks or daily lattes may trigger one of these.
What is a discretionary rate case?
To avoid financial conflict, always hide this before TJ sees them.
What are Amazon packages?
The everyday item that somehow vanishes right when you need it most.
What is toilet paper?
The monthly expense that becomes a full-on negotiation once two thermostats merge.
What is the electric bill?
A depreciating asset that still feels like a milestone when you drive it off the lot together.
What is a car?
When one partner upgrades their phone every year, this review is guaranteed.
What is a technology rate review?
The #1 household safety rule: don’t touch this during hockey season.
What is the remote control?
Married life’s version of a backup generator — keeps things running when all else fails.
What is takeout pizza?
Hosting in-laws is guaranteed to inflate this expense category.
What are grocery bills?
Alt:
What are therapy bills?
A long-term investment with a 30-year amortization schedule and lots of yard work
What is a house?
A surge in Sephora and Home Depot receipts may lead to this.
What is a household rate adjustment?
The most important phrase for household harmony — deploy early and often.
What is “I’m sorry”?
Not for hurricanes, but for the sudden announcement: “We’ve been invited to another wedding!”
What is the emergency fund?
The stealth OPEX cost that skyrockets with “just one more” Target run.
What is household supplies?
The “strategic expansion” project often negotiated around a kitchen island at midnight.
What is having kids?
The most complex proceeding of all — often requiring arbitration, compromise, or a travel agent.
What is the vacation budget?
This common saying doubles as the ultimate household safety policy, reminding spouses that harmony is cheaper than conflict.
What is “happy wife, happy life"
Alt answer:
What is "happy spouse, happy house"
The ultimate survival kit for in-laws visiting for a week.
What is patience (plus a guest room)?