Hot Dogs & Regrets
This is how many hot dogs Joey Chestnut once ate in 10 minutes, making the rest of us feel inadequate
What is 76?
The neighbor who buys the most illegal fireworks is always called this.
"that guy"
The year America declared independence, also the year everyone pretends to know more history than they do.
What is 1776?
This is the scientific term for why the burger always sticks to the grill when someone is watching.
What is Murphy's Law?
This song is sung at every July 4th event by someone who does not know all the words.
What is the National Anthem?
The main emotion felt after eating your 5th hot dog at the cookout.
What is regret?
This happens every year when someone lights a firework pointing the wrong direction.
What is running for your life?
This founding father is on the $100 bill and is everyone's favorite because he never became president.
ho is Benjamin Franklin?
he number of times someone will say "it's not the heat, it's the humidity" before you lose your mind.
What is too many?
The number of stars on the American flag, which nobody can remember without counting.
What is 50?
This condiment causes more family arguments than politics at a 4th of July cookout.
What is ketchup on a hot dog?
The face you make when a firework goes off 3 seconds later than expected.
What is pure terror?
America declared independence from this country, which now sells us tea and bad weather forecasts.
What is England?
This happens to potato salad left in the sun for more than 45 minutes.
What is a health hazard?
Every small town parade features this vehicle going suspiciously slowly down Main Street.
What is a tractor?
The technical term for the nap you take immediately after eating too much at the cookout.
What is a food coma?
Dogs everywhere file a noise complaint against humans on this date every year.
What is July 4th?
The document signed in 1776 that every American has definitely read and not just skimmed.
What is the Declaration of Independence?
The approximate distance flies will travel to find your plate the moment you sit down.
What is immediately/zero distance?
Americans celebrate freedom on July 4th by doing this in gridlock traffic for three hours.
What is proving freedom has limits?
This is what you call it when someone brings a veggie tray to a July 4th BBQ.
What is a crime?
This is always the last person still setting off fireworks at 2am in the neighborhood.
What is your uncle?
his founding father challenged someone to a duel and lost, proving even geniuses make bad decisions.
Who is Alexander Hamilton?
The color your uncle's face turns after standing at the grill for two hours in July.
What is lobster red?
This is the only acceptable reason to wear a flag as a cape at a public event.
What is being 100% that guy?