DBT Skills
When anger urges you to scream, throw things, shut down, or engage in maladaptive behavior, this skill helps you do the opposite of what your emotion is pushing you to do.
Opposite Action
Someone who avoids conflict, says sorry constantly, and can't say no is using this communication style.
Passive
Saying 'I'm really frustrated and I need a minute to calm down' instead of blowing up is an example of this kind of anger.
Constructive anger
Breathing in for 4 counts, holding for 4, and exhaling for 4 is called this — it calms your nervous system fast.
Box breathing
This skill uses temperature change, intense exercises, paced breathing, and progressive muscle relaxation to cool down fast in a crisis.
TIPP
Using 'I feel hurt' instead of 'You always hurt me' keeps the other person from feeling this, making them more likely to actually hear you.
I feel statement / defensive
This type of anger looks calm on the outside but shows up as sarcasm, silent treatment, or 'forgetting' to do things on purpose — and it's still considered destructive.
Passive-Aggressive anger
Leaving a heated argument to cool down before continuing the conversation is called taking a ______.
Time-out — a deliberate pause to de-escalate, not to avoid the problem forever.
This skill means finding the middle ground between two extreme viewpoints--like between 'im totally fine,' and 'everything is ruined.'
Middle path - dialecting thinking
This communication style involves yelling, threatening, interrupting, or trying to overpower the other person to 'win' the argument.
Aggressive communication — expressing needs in a way that disrespects or steamrolls others.
Channeling anger into art, journaling, sports, or advocating for change are all examples of turning anger into something ______.
Constructive — using the energy of anger to create, process, or make a positive difference.
This 5-4-3-2-1 coping technique asks you to notice things you can see, hear, touch, smell, and taste to bring you back to the present.
Grounding — using your senses to interrupt an anger spiral and reconnect with the present moment.
This means fully accepting a painful reality as it is--not agreeing with it, just stopping the fight against what you cannot change
radical acceptance
In DBT, DEAR MAN is used to ask for what you need. The letters stand for Describe, Express, Assert, Reinforce, stay Mindful, Appear confident, and this last one.
Negotiate — being willing to give a little to reach a solution that works for both people.
True or false: feeling angry is destructive. Explain why this is false.
False — anger itself is a normal, healthy emotion. It's what you DO with it that makes it constructive or destructive.
Writing about your feelings instead of acting them out is this healthy coping strategy — it helps you process without doing damage.
Journaling — releasing emotion through writing so you can gain insight and feel heard.
This DBT skill — Stop, Take a step back, Observe, Proceed mindfully — helps you pause before reacting when you're heated.
STOP
This communication style is direct and honest while still respecting the other person — the healthy middle ground between passive and aggressive.
Assertive communication — speaking up for yourself clearly without attacking or shutting down.
Yelling, name-calling, slamming doors, and throwing things are all examples of this type of anger expression.
Destructive anger — ways of expressing anger that cause harm to yourself, others, or things around you.
When your body is flooded with anger, your prefrontal cortex (the thinking brain) goes partly offline. What DBT concept describes waiting for this to pass before problem-solving?
Riding the wave (or urge surfing) — letting the intense emotion peak and pass without acting on it, since emotions are temporary.