Create safety, trust, and hope
What does active listening look like?
Focus completely, put away distractions, provide subtle encourages, do not interrupt
What type of language can you use to build rapport?
Mirroring and paraphrasing
What are some ways you can help to changing the narrative they are sharing?
Counter self-blame and point out strengths
How can you show a visitor you are taking their concerns seriously?
By acknowledging their concerns, validate their struggle, and accepting how they feel about it
Who determines the best course forward?
Allow the visitor to determine how they would like to proceed. They are the expert in their own situation.
How can you validate their emotions?
Acknowledge how they are feeling and how that is effecting their life. Normalize what they are going through
Who takes the lead in the conversation?
The visitor should take the lead, set the pace, and the tone.
How can you normalize their experience and counter self-blame?
Remind them the trauma is not their fault and they are not alone in what they have experienced or are feeling
Asking questions. Open, closed, or both?
Asking close-ended questions can be helpful when gathering safety information. But open-ended questions can be helpful to learn about how it is effecting them and what supports they are hoping for
Should we tell the visitor they are in charge?
Absolutely! Explicitly stating that they are in charge of the conversation, their path forward, and how they want to proceed can be empowering! Be sure to not over promise what they have control over. Visitors may not control how police choose to proceed or how a medical professional chooses to proceed. The visitor is in charge of their journey.
Should you be willing to change topics?
Yes, be willing to talk about something lower pressure for a moment before circling back to the reason they reached out. It may help you discover their strengths and supports.
Should you only pay attention to the words they use?
No. Pay attention to the words they use and their tone, expressions, and other nonverbal or subtle indicators. Silence can speak volumes.
Should you counter the same stigma for all visitors?
No, pay attention to the type of stigma they are describing. For example, social stigma (stereotypes, prejudice, and discrimination) vs self-stigma (low self-esteem).
Visitor shares about self-harm or suicide. What should you do?
Follow self-harm or suicide protocol
Should we talk to a visitor about setting and practicing boundaries?
We can encourage them to set and practice boundaries, within what is safe for them, if that is something they want to accomplish in their time with speaking with us. Sometimes helping them start with a smaller boundary can help them work up the courage for a larger boundary.
How can you normalize while avoiding critical language?
Avoid "why" questions or blaming statements. Avoid "you should/should not" statements. Let them know that many people have experienced these feelings before and they are not alone.
Is silence ever ok?
Be ok with some silence
Should we use a lot of technical language?
Keep your language simple and easy to understand. Be willing to explain terms and check for understanding.
Visitor shared they are not in a safe situation or to continue talking. What should you do?
Recommend contact emergency services and end the interaction
What is some language to avoid?
Why did you.... Why didn't you.... You should.... You shouldn't.... You deserve it. You asked for it. You have to do what I told you. (and many more)
What are some of the first steps in safety planning?
Establish if they are safe now, who they can contact if they are not safe, and beginning building a resource network
Struggling to connect to the conversation/visitor?
Tap into the visitors strengths by asking about their interests, activities that keep their mind occupied in a healthy way (hobbies, passions). What has been helping them get through this already?
How can we actively listen while reducing stigma?
Do not rush to offer resources, listen to what they are sharing, hear what they are experiencing, allow them to feel what they are feeling
Can you provide an example of what safety planning around physical safety could look like?
Any example of safety planning with a visitor. Such as, lock the door. No lock? Place a heavy piece of furniture in front of the door.
How to respond to "I don't know" or something similar?
It's completely ok to not know right now and it's ok if you don't want to talk at this time. I'm glad that you are here with me now and we can talk together.