ACT Principles
The Choice Point
In each moment, I am presented with a choice to move AWAY from who I want to be and towards experiential avoidance, or TOWARDS my values through unhooked thinking
Thank you, Brain
What difficult thought, emotion or other internal experience is coming up for you right now? For example, if what's coming up is overwhelmingly "I'm an idiot, I have nothing helpful to say, I should shut up", can we instead name it and say (even out loud) "I'm having a thought that I'm an idiot....thank you, brain, for that interesting thought"
Allowing
See if you can allow this feeling to be there. You don't have to like, want or approve it - just allow it
We are in this together
We are inviting everyone to stand. Together, we will take two steps forward into the circle. Notice the faces around you. Notice us united in our common goal of value-based living. Notice that we are showing up here for ourselves and for one another.
What is Your Brand?
When you think of Coca-Cola, what do you think of? Do you think you would know a bottle of Coke if the label was in another language?
You are also a brand! What are the defining features you want your brand to convey to the world, no matter what region you're being marketed in?
Clean and Dirty Discomfort
Clean discomfort is the expected result of being alive; suffering and the unpleasant memories, thoughts and emotions that come with it. Dirty discomfort is the amplified suffering we experience through secondary judgements about these experiences, e.g., "it's ridiculous that I feel so anxious", "I'm so angry this grief is still with me", "WHY am I like this?"
Computer Screen
Think about one of the problematic thoughts that tend to keep coming up and causing you distress. Close your eyes. Imagine this thought is now a pop up ad on your computer screen. Close the pop up. It pops back up again. Close it again. It pops up a third time. Select all the text of the thought. Change the color. Change the font. Make it a bit bigger. Make it a bit smaller. Change the color again. Close the pop up.
What did you notice?
Noticing
What emotion are you having now? Notice where this feeling is. Notice where it's most intense. Notice the hot spots and cold spots. Notice the different sensations in the feeling.
I Spy
One person spy something in the room, but don't tell us what it is. The rest of us will try to guess what it is by asking clarifying questions. The person who guesses the item correctly is the next spy. We will do three passes.
Role Models
Who do you look up to? Who inspires you? What personal strengths or qualities do they have that you admire? How do you embody those qualities right now?
How is that working for you?
What have you done in the past to avoid unpleasant internal experiences?
D-Distractions; O-Opting Out; T-Thinking Strategies; S-Substances and other Strategies
Have any of these strategies permanently worked to keep these unpleasant thoughts, emotions and other internal experiences away? What have you gained from using them? What have you lost?
Milk
When you say the word "milk" what images, thoughts, sensations or emotions comes to mind? Now, start to say milk fast over and over again, keep going until we say stop. What's coming up now? Are you thinking about milk the same way?
Normalizing
Notice the unpleasant feelings coming up for you right now. This feeling tells you that you are a normal human being who has a heart and who cares. This is what human beings feel when there is a gap between what we want and what we got.
5-4-3-2-1
Look around the room, notice and name out loud five things you can see. Use your hands and notice four things you can touch; observe their texture, temperature, shape. Listen keenly, notice three things you can hear starting from furthest away and coming to inside you. Can you notice two things you can smell? Is there one thing you can taste?
Speeches
Imagine your next big milestone birthday. Two or three people make speeches about what you stand for, what you mean to them, what role you played in their life. In the IDEAL world, where you have lived as the person you want to be, what would you hear them saying?
Workability
We are not labelling anything as bad or good, including our avoidance strategies! If it works, then work it! We may have to engage in avoidance strategies occasionally to keep swimming, but ultimately, we must ask ourselves:
"Are the combination of strategies I'm using leading me to show up as the person I want to be?"
Leaves on a Stream
Close your eyes. Imagine a gentle stream flowing. Imagine there is light tree cover overhead and a soft breeze. Now, imagine your current thoughts, emotions, and other internal experiences are leaves falling unto the stream. Watch them float through the air and land on the surface of the stream. Watch them flow by; are there a lot, a little, are they big or small? Notice that they continue moving as the stream continues to move. Notice how separate you are from them.
Compassion
Notice your current feeling state. Hold this feeling gently and softly as if it's a crying baby or a scared puppy
Dropping Anchor
We're going to drop anchor now....
Childhood Dreams
As a child, what sort of life did you imagine for the future? How can you recapture some of that now?
Is the Struggle Switch on?
What difficult emotion, thought, sensation is coming up for you in this moment? Ask yourself "Is the Struggle Switch on?", meaning am I looking at it with judgement, trying to push it down, ignore it or push it back? What am I gaining from the Struggle Switch being on? What am I losing?
Sing a Silly Song
Imagine a thought that you have trouble with, not the most troublesome one, a moderately troublesome one. Make it into a little ditty. Sing it out loud. Notice the separation you are experiencing from the power of the thought as you sing it.
The Choice to Feel
Make contact in this moment with the difficult feeling you tend to struggle with. Suppose I could give you a choice: a) you never have to have this feeling ever again, but it means you lose all capacity to love and care, or b) you get to love and care, but when there's a gap between what you want and what you've got, feelings like this one show up. What do you choose?
Being here with you....
Turn to the person on your left. Say to them, "Being here with you, I am noticing...." and share something that is coming up for you as you connect with them in this present moment. The person who is listening will reply, "Hearing that, I am noticing..." and say whatever comes up for you having received what they have shared. We are focusing less on physical attributes. We are also making every effort to make it about the connection between you rather than experientially avoiding making genuine contact and talking about something else in the room.
Let's Do It!
Pick one value-based word you came up with today. What's one small action you can take tomorrow that would be taking you towards that value? Do you want to let us know about what you did next time we see you?