Avoidance Traps
What does avoidance mean?
staying away from something because it makes you feel uncomfortable, anxious, stressed, or upset.
What is anticipatory anxiety?
Feeling anxious or worried about something before it happens.
True or False: You always need motivation before you can start something.
False. Sometimes motivation comes after you begin.
What is demand avoidance?
Avoiding or resisting something because it feels like a demand, expectation, or pressure.
True or False: You can make a good decision without knowing exactly what will happen.
True.
True or False: Avoiding something that makes you anxious always makes the anxiety go away permanently.
False. Avoidance may provide temporary relief but can make anxiety harder to manage over time.
True or False: You have to feel ready and confident before trying something new.
False. You can take action even when you feel nervous or unsure.
What's one way to make a big task feel less overwhelming?
Break it into smaller, manageable steps.
Your parent reminds you to clean your room, and suddenly you don't want to do it anymore. What might be contributing to your reaction?
Feeling pressured, frustrated, overwhelmed, or like you're losing control over your choices.
What does it mean to tolerate uncertainty?
Being willing to experience not knowing what will happen without needing every answer before moving forward.
You have a big assignment due, but every time you think about it, you start scrolling on your phone. What might you be avoiding?
Feelings of stress, frustration, overwhelm, or fear of not doing well.
You have a presentation next week and keep imagining yourself messing up. What ACT skill could help?
Cognitive defusion, such as noticing “I'm having the thought that I'll mess up,” instead of treating that thought as a fact.
you keep saying, “I'll do my homework later,” but later never comes. What's one strategy that could help?
Set a specific start time, work for five or ten minutes, or complete one small part of the assignment.
How might changing “I have to do this” to “I'm choosing to do this because…” help?
It can help you focus on your own reasons, values, and choices rather than only the pressure of the task.
You text a friend, and they haven't responded. You start thinking they're mad at you. What could you remind yourself?
“I don't know why they haven't answered. My thoughts aren't facts, and I can allow some uncertainty.”
Your friend wants to talk about something that upset them, but you keep ignoring their messages because the conversation feels uncomfortable. What is one committed action you could take?
Respond to their message, arrange a time to talk, or acknowledge the situation while allowing discomfort to be present.
Your friends invite you somewhere, but you keep thinking, “What if it's awkward?” What is one small step you could take?
Ask for details, make a manageable plan to attend, or try going for a short time while accepting that some awkwardness is possible.
you want to improve your grades, but studying feels boring and frustrating. How can your values help you stay committed?
Remember why school or learning matters to you and choose a manageable action even when studying isn't enjoyable.
A teacher assigns a large project, and you immediately feel overwhelmed and want to avoid it. Name two strategies that could help.
Break the project into smaller steps, ask for clarification, make a schedule, take a brief break, or identify one place to start.
You want to join a new club, but you don't know anyone there. What is one committed action you could take?
Attend one meeting, ask someone about the club, or introduce yourself to one person despite feeling unsure.
What's the difference between doing something because it matters to you and avoiding something because it's uncomfortable?
Committed action moves you toward your values and goals, while avoidance focuses on escaping discomfort, sometimes at the expense of what matters.
you want to try out for a sports team or school club, but you're worried about being rejected. How could you practice willingness?
Recognize that rejection is possible, allow yourself to feel nervous, and still take a step toward trying out because the activity matters to you.
What's the difference between waiting until you feel like doing something and choosing to do something because it matters?
Waiting relies on motivation or mood, while committed action means choosing behaviors that support your values even when motivation is low.
You don't want to attend a school activity because you feel pressured, but you also know it could help you make friends. How could you approach the situation using ACT?
Notice the pressure and discomfort, consider whether connection matters to you, and choose a manageable step based on your values rather than reacting only to the pressure.
Why can trying to know exactly how everything will turn out keep you from doing things that matter?
Because complete certainty isn't possible, and waiting for guarantees can lead to avoidance, missed opportunities, and staying stuck.