Indirect cues
During your story, the listener says “uh-huh” multiple times but never adds a comment or question.
What might they be indirectly communicating?
They may be passively listening but not actively engaged, possibly waiting for the conversation to end.
At lunch, a peer says, “Did you see what she was wearing today? That outfit was so ugly.”
What would be a neutral response that shows you don’t want to join the gossip?
“Everyone has their own style,” or “I didn’t really notice.”
You walk into class and your usual seat is taken.
Did the person know that’s “your” seat?
What’s a flexible response?
“It’s not assigned.”
“I can sit somewhere else.”
“This isn’t a big problem.”
Your mom asks you to take out the trash. You say in an annoyed tone, “Why do I always have to do everything around here?” Later you realize your tone sounded rude.
What would be a responsible way to take accountability for your behavior?
“I’m sorry for the way I spoke earlier. My tone was rude. I’ll take the trash out now.”
Possible restitution:
Complete the chore without arguing.
Scenario:
You told a boy you liked him. He said he wasn’t interested. A week later, you see him kissing another girl at lunch.
You’re telling a long story about your weekend. The person you’re talking to responds with “oh,” “yeah,” and “that’s crazy,” but doesn’t ask any questions or add anything.
What might they be indirectly communicating?
They may not be very interested in the topic or may be losing interest and hoping the conversation will wrap up.
A classmate says, “I heard that Jake got suspended, but don’t tell anyone.”
What would be a neutral response that shows you don’t want to join the gossip?
“I don’t really want to get involved in that,” or “I’d rather not talk about it.” or "that's not my business"
You send a text and don't get a reply for hours.
What are 3 reasons someone might not answer?
What is the most realistic explanation?
What would you tell a friend in this situation?
“They’re probably busy.”
“It doesn’t mean they’re ignoring me.”
“I can wait.”
You moved something in the kitchen and later your mom asks, “Did you move this?” At first you say no, but you realize you actually did move it earlier.
How could you take accountability?
“You’re right, I did move it earlier. I forgot at first. I’m sorry.”
Possible restitution:
Put the item back where it belongs.
Scenario:
Your best friend sits with someone else at lunch and doesn’t save you a seat.
What is the best way to handle this situation?
While you’re talking, your peer keeps glancing down at their phone and typing, even though you’re mid-sentence.
What might they be indirectly communicating?
They may be distracted, disengaged, or prioritizing something else over the conversation.
In a group chat, someone says, “Let’s all ignore her messages so she gets the hint.”
What would be a neutral response that shows you don’t want to join the gossip?
“I don’t want to be part of that,” or simply not engage and change the subject.
You join a conversation and the group keeps talking about something your not interested in.
Are they trying to exclude you?
Could they just really like that topic?
What are your options?
“It’s okay if I’m not into this.”
“I can listen or join another group.”
“This isn’t personal.”
An adult asks you a question and you answer with a sarcastic or annoyed tone.
What could you say to take responsibility for your tone?
“I’m sorry for my tone earlier. I sounded annoyed and that wasn’t respectful.”
Scenario:
You text a friend or crush and see they read it but didn’t respond.
What is the best way to handle this?
Your friend starts to say, “Oh that reminds me—” but you continue talking and finish your story. This happens a few times, and eventually they stop trying to jump in.
What might they be indirectly communicating?
They may feel like they don’t have space to talk and may be giving up on participating in the conversation.
A friend says, “I have something to tell you about Emma, but you can’t tell anyone.”
What would be a neutral response that shows you don’t want to join the gossip?
“I’d rather not hear it if it’s private,” or “I don’t want to get in the middle.”
A teacher corrects you in front of the class.
Why do teachers correct students?
Does correction mean someone is mad at you?
Has this happened to other students?
“Everyone gets corrected sometimes.”
“This helps me improve.”
“It’s not a big deal.”
Your mom asks if you finished a chore and you say yes, but you actually didn’t finish it.
What would be a responsible way to fix this situation?
“I want to be honest. I said I finished the chore earlier but I didn’t. I’ll go finish it now.”
Possible restitution:
Complete the chore.
A peer says, “You can sit with us if you agree that this other girl is annoying.”
What does this behavior reflect?
Manipulation
While you’re talking, the person avoids eye contact, shifts their body away, or starts packing up their things.
What might they be indirectly communicating?
They may be uncomfortable, disengaged, or ready to leave the interaction.
A peer says, “He’s so weird, no wonder nobody talks to him.”
What would be a neutral response that shows you don’t want to join the gossip?
“He seems fine to me,” or “I don’t really see it that way.”
You notice friends are talking about something that happened over the weekend, but you weren't invited.
What are three possible reasons you weren’t invited?
Is every reason about you?
What is one neutral or positive explanation?
“Maybe it was last minute.”
“It doesn’t mean they don’t like me.”
“I can make plans next time.”
You leave dishes or wrappers in the living room and someone else has to clean them up.
What is a responsible way to take accountability?
“I’m sorry I left my mess out. I’ll clean it up now.”
Possible restitution:
Clean the area
A peer works with you during class, is polite and fair, but does not seek you out afterward.
Is this genuine friendship, social courtesy, or manipulation?
Social courtesy