Indirect cues
You show your friend a TikTok dance you learned, and she smiles but quickly says, “Oh that’s cool,” then changes the subject.
What might they be indirectly communicating?
She may not be very interested in the video or may not want to keep talking about it.
In the locker room, a teammate says, “She barely even tries at practice. I don’t get why she’s on varsity.”
What would be a neutral response that shows you don’t want to join the gossip?
“Everyone’s working on different things,” or “I don’t really know.”
You walk into class and your usual seat is taken.
Did the person know that’s “your” seat?
What’s a flexible response?
“It’s not assigned.”
“I can sit somewhere else.”
“This isn’t a big problem.”
During practice, you get frustrated and roll your eyes when your coach gives you feedback. Later, you realize that came off as disrespectful.
What would be a responsible way to take accountability for your behavior?
“I’m sorry for rolling my eyes earlier. That was disrespectful. I’ll work on taking feedback better.”
Scenario:
You told a boy you liked him. He said he wasn’t interested. A week later, you see him kissing another girl at lunch.
During practice, your teammate keeps checking her phone while you’re talking about your weekend.
What might they be indirectly communicating?
They may be distracted or not very interested in the conversation right now.
A friend shows you someone’s Instagram post and says, “Why would she even post that? It’s so embarrassing.”
What would be a neutral response that shows you don’t want to join the gossip?
“She can post what she wants,” or “I didn’t really think about it.”
You send a text and don't get a reply for hours.
What are 3 reasons someone might not answer?
What is the most realistic explanation?
What would you tell a friend in this situation?
“They’re probably busy.”
“It doesn’t mean they’re ignoring me.”
“I can wait.”
You forget to reply to your coach’s message about the game time and miss important information.
What would be a responsible way to take accountability for your behavior?
“I’m sorry I didn’t respond earlier. I should’ve checked my messages. I’ll make sure I stay on top of it.”
Scenario:
Your best friend sits with someone else at lunch and doesn’t save you a seat.
What is the best way to handle this situation?
At a game, you’re talking to a teammate, and she starts scanning the field and turning her body away from you.
What might they be indirectly communicating?
She may be trying to end the conversation or shift her attention back to the game.
During lunch, someone says, “I heard she got dumped because she was being annoying.”
What would be a neutral response that shows you don’t want to join the gossip?
“I don’t really know what happened,” or “That’s their business.”
You join a conversation and the group keeps talking about something your not interested in.
Are they trying to exclude you?
Could they just really like that topic?
What are your options?
“It’s okay if I’m not into this.”
“I can listen or join another group.”
“This isn’t personal.”
You agree to help your parent with something but keep scrolling on Instagram instead.
What would be a responsible way to take accountability for your behavior?
“I’m sorry I didn’t help when you asked. I got distracted, but that’s on me.”
Possible restitution:
Put your phone away and help right away.
Scenario:
You text a friend or crush and see they read it but didn’t respond.
What is the best way to handle this?
You ask a friend to film your TikTok, and she sighs before saying, “I guess.”
What might they be indirectly communicating?
She may not want to do it but feels pressured to say yes.
At practice, a teammate says, “Coach definitely likes her more. She gets away with everything.”
What would be a neutral response that shows you don’t want to join the gossip?
“I’m not sure,” or “Coach makes their own decisions.”
A teacher corrects you in front of the class.
Why do teachers correct students?
Does correction mean someone is mad at you?
Has this happened to other students?
“Everyone gets corrected sometimes.”
“This helps me improve.”
“It’s not a big deal.”
You get annoyed and send a rude text in a group chat, then realize it may have hurt someone.
What would be a responsible way to take accountability for your behavior?
“I’m sorry for what I said in the chat. That came off rude.”
A peer says, “You can sit with us if you agree that this other girl is annoying.”
What does this behavior reflect?
Manipulation
After you talk for a while about lacrosse, your friend says, “You really love lacrosse, huh?” with a flat tone.
What might they be indirectly communicating?
They may feel the topic has gone on too long or want to talk about something else.
A friend says, “Her TikToks are so cringe. I don’t know why she thinks they’re good.”
What would be a neutral response that shows you don’t want to join the gossip?
“Some people just like making videos,” or “I guess everyone has different interests.”
You notice friends are talking about something that happened over the weekend, but you weren't invited.
What are three possible reasons you weren’t invited?
Is every reason about you?
What is one neutral or positive explanation?
“Maybe it was last minute.”
“It doesn’t mean they don’t like me.”
“I can make plans next time.”
You laugh when someone messes up during practice, then realize it may have embarrassed them.
What would be a responsible way to take accountability for your behavior?
“I’m sorry for laughing earlier. That wasn’t nice.”
Possible restitution:
Encourage them and be more supportive moving forward.
A peer works with you during class, is polite and fair, but does not seek you out afterward.
Is this genuine friendship, social courtesy, or manipulation?
Social courtesy