Mile Marker 1 and 2
True or False, Peace of Mind means feeling happy all the time.
False, Everybody feels stressed out from time to time.
According to the Mile Marker, what does the C stand for in the ABCs?
Consequences
What is Black and White thinking?
When you see your circumstances as either “good” or “bad,” “always” or “never.” No in between
Who said the following quote:
“I’ve had many catastrophes in my life, most of which never happened.”
Mark Twain
True or False, it’s best to wait until I feel like doing something before acting on it.
False, “It is more effective to act my way into a new way of feeling than it is to feel my way into a new way of acting.”
After we’ve heard these things enough times, thought about them, and come to believe our thoughts, they become ________ as we form a general “attitude” about snakes.
After we’ve heard these things enough times, thought about them, and come to believe our thoughts, they become Automatic as we form a general “attitude” about snakes.
What is the definition of Activating Event?
Activating Events are all the things that can or might happen to you, or the situation that seems to be triggering your emotional discomfort (for example, the snake at your feet, an insult, a traffic jam, being criticized)
What is Catastrophizing?
Really exaggerating the impact or likelihood of a negative event.
According to the Mile Marker book, what does PAT stand for?
Positive Adaptive Thoughts
What are the 3 behaviors in the "Self-Expression Scale"?
Hint: Think about communication styles
Passive Behavior -> Assertive Behavior -> Aggressive Behavior
According to the Mile Marker, Emotions are the feelings and sensations you experience in what 3 places?
Emotions are feelings and sensations you experience primarily in your mind, chest, and gut.
Explain what a pressure cooker is according to the Mile Marker book.
A negative coping skills that involves smiling sweetly, and using avoidance to deal with strong negative emotions. These are people that hold in painful emotions or cope by using denial, overeating, social media/gaming distractions, drugs/medications, and alcohol use
When people get in trouble with painful feelings, it’s often because they change normal wants and desires, in their minds, into what?
Absolute facts.
What are the 3 shortcuts to rapid improvement?
Practice, Practice, Practice.
The "Conflict Scale" ranges from total Avoidance of conflict, Deflection (distraction or changing the subject) in the middle, and ________ at the other end.
Direct Confrontation
What is 1 of the 3 questions you can ask yourself to determine if your emotion is normal or self defeating?
Are the emotions I'm feeling:
1) Causing me ongoing harmful or painful consequences?
2) Stopping me from getting what I want in life?
3) Leading me to conflict within myself or with others?
According to the Mile Marker, there are only 3 things you can get emotionally upset about. List them!
There are only three things people get emotionally upset about: themselves, others, and the world
What are the 3 P's
Permanent (“This is never going to change!”)
Pervasive (“It affects everything!”)
Personal (“It’s all my fault or yours and you’re
blaming me!”)
Catastrophe Scaling says to rate the event somewhere between a “1” (of no real importance to me) and “10” (of great importance to my life/happiness). If you were to rate an event at a 4 out of 10, what would you do next?
Take 2 or 3 slow breaths. Then practice letting go of the issue by saying something like this to yourself several times:
-“I have to pick my battles,”
-“This isn’t worth getting upset over,”
-“I refuse to let this get me more upset than I need to right now.”
ADESC is a tool to help with assertive communication. Fill in the blanks:
A: Ask for their Attention
D: _____
E: Express
S: Specify
C: _____
D: Describe
C: Cite the Consequences
According to the Mile Marker, are emotions are caused mainly by what?
Our emotions are caused mainly by our beliefs and
attitudes about ourselves, the world and others
Explain what a steam roller is according to the Mile Marker book.
The type of person who focuses their attention on “A,” or the Activating Events they experience. A Stream Roller’s basic mindset is: “If it weren’t for (fill in the blank), I would feel just fine!”
What is emotional reasoning?
Assuming that because you feel something, that’s the way things really are, without checking it out.
Catastrophe Scaling says to rate the event somewhere between a “1” (of no real importance to me) and “10” (of great importance to my life/happiness). If you were to rate an event at a 6 out of 10, what would you do next?
Re-frame your self-defeating thoughts with PATs
Mile Marker 10 introduces a new tool called Soft Assertion, what is it?
Soft assertion is very simple to learn. You just take whatever you want to get across, and begin your message with some respectful phrases or requests. For example:
“Would you be kind enough to… Let me borrow your phone charger for 20 minutes?”
“Wonder if you would do me a big favor… and let me do my homework a little later tonight?”
“I’d really appreciate it a lot if you’d… disagree with me privately instead of when my friends are around.”
“It would be really helpful to me if… you didn’t tease me in front of other people.”