Helpful or hurtful
I thought you said you were trying to lose weight. You really shouldn't eat that!
Hurtful- It is rude to comment about a person's diet like this.
You see your friend on Monday morning at school. You want to tell them about your weekend. How can you initiate this conversation?
"Hey, how was your weekend?"
"Hey, guess what I did this weekend?"
I did terribly on that history today. If I did terrible, then that means you probably won't do well either.
Hurtful- It's okay to say how you did, but the second comment implies that the other person isn't smart enough.
You are out shopping for new outfits with a friend. Your friend tries on a shirt that doesn't really look good. They ask you, "I like this one. What do you think?" You say, "Maybe try on some others before you decide."
Helpful- Although you aren't directly saying "this doesn't look good," you are indirectly implying that there may be better options.
Your friend is in the school musical. During the musical, she forgot a few of her lines. After the show, you go up to your friend and say, "It's okay, you did great. You've got the next show!"
Helpful- You are reassuring your friend they did okay and it is encouraging them that they can do it in the next performance.
You are so great at goalie. You only let 3 balls into the goal this time instead of 10 like last time.
Hurtful- This is a backhanded compliment. It starts out nice, but then references their flaw from a past event. Instead, you can say, "That's a tough position and you are getting better at it."