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Personal Topics
Campus Relationships
Management Tools
Client Conversations
Yea or Nay or Grey
100
Clothing with full coverage, no inappropriate logos and in good condition.
What is professional dress?
100
Making copies for the front office, driving home a sick kid, taking over the class while a teacher takes a bathroom break, etc.
What are inappropriately assigned school tasks? Explain how you would address this if asked by a teacher or school administrator.
100
Type of narrative used to talk about your experience without making it your experience.
What is 3rd person narrative? When I was in middle school, I knew a lot of people who...What do you think of that? vs. When I was in middle school I...and I think...
100
A question that suggests the particular answer or contains the information the mentor is looking to have confirmed.
What is a leading question? Discuss boundaries around pushing for information around: *Abuse & neglect *LGBT issues (coming out)
100
Spending your own money on your mentee.
What is Grey? For a one time bus pass emergency it could qualify as student support related to a goal. If you are buying special treats, incentives or find yourself being asked everyday to give bus money...you have a problem.
200
The process of communication through sending and receiving wordless (mostly visual) cues between people.
What is non verbal communication? Be aware of your own body language and the power it can have in communicating inappropriate messages. Sitting too close, flirtatious posture, etc.
200
Refers to a wide range of activities, presented to businesses, schools, sports teams, religious or nonprofit organizations designed for improving team performance. Hint: You will do or have already done many of these with your AMC team
What are team builders? Building relationships with your campus team are very important. Usually we think of boundaries issues as sharing too much but sometimes you can share too little as well.
200
Restating a comment or a question to make it less judgmental and more acceptable to the client
What is reframing? e.g
200
A male student writes to a female CIS team member: “Thanks for all of your help. You really understand me.” Then writes “I love you”. The member ignores the “I love you” part of the letter but thanks the student for the nice letter, gives him a hug, and continues being friendly with the student as before. Identify the boundary issue.
What is failure to address? e.g. "I love you", regular frontal hugs, uncomfortable mentee habits
200
Taking pictures of your mentee on your phone.
What is Grey? When for a project with the expectation that it be deleted afterward, its ok. Definitely never to be posted on any social media sites.
300
During the initial getting to know you activities, these are examples of appropriate personal information to share.
What are your interests and hobbies? What are general details about your family?
300
A Friday after school gathering with chips, queso, margaritas and teachers at your school.
What is a staff happy hour? You may be approached to attend happy hour with your campus staff. Discuss and explore what boundary issues arise in this scenario.
300
The ability to understand something immediately, without the need for conscious reasoning.
What is intuition? How do you know when you have a boundary issue? What tells you? What questions could you ask yourself?
300
The action of bringing something or coming to an end (specifically as it relates to your service with your mentee) .
What is termination? Discuss boundaries that can arise around topics of or in conversations about termination. e.g. giving out phone numbers, continued contact, inaccurate terminology
300
Accepting invitations to mentee's birthday party, graduation party or non school sponsored sport event.
What is Grey to Nay? There may be an occasional time when it may be appropriate but only if its not at a mentee's home or pre-approved by PM and parents.
400
My mentee will be passing every grade by the end of the year, be reading on grade level, coming to school everyday and have no discipline incidents.
What are unrealistic expectations? Throughout the year you will battle with learning to come to terms with what is within your control and what isn't.
400
A set of rules or a promise that limits access or places restrictions on certain types of information that you can share.
What is confidentiality? Discuss teacher probing and how to manage this.
400
Refers to actions and attitudes which contribute to the maintenance of well-being and personal health and promote human development. e.g. exercise, yoga, journaling, sleep
What is self-care? This job is tough and managing the extra tough boundary issues is even harder if you don't take care of yourself. Oh, ok, just this once.
400
A student is late to class and sees her mentor in the hallway. She tells her that her parents had a big fight this morning and she had to take her younger siblings to school, which is why she is late. She asks her mentor for a tardy pass “just this once.” The mentor decides to give her the pass due to the family situation. Now the student starts asking for other things like staying for 5 more minutes, extra snacks, etc. Name one boundary issue addressed here.
What is limit setting, enforcing rules or expectations, manipulation? Safety, Consistency and Clarity are so important for strong good boundaries with kids.
400
Physical contact with a mentee.
What is Grey to Nay? At elementary, some physical contact is ok and very likely to happen at times. You will have to be clear, very early on, as to what is acceptable. The rule of thumb is to avoid frontal hugs and never be the one to initiate the contact.
500
A student is grieving the loss of a family member who has recently died. During a mentoring session, the student asks you about your beliefs on death and heaven. What would be an appropriate response to this?
What is reframing, turning the question around on the student or 3rd person response? You are curious about what happens when/after a family member dies.What do you think happens? Different people think different things. Some people believe ....what do you believe?
500
A teacher sees a CIS team member meeting with a student in the courtyard or library. The teacher sits down with the member and the student and starts talking about how the student is misbehaving in class. Explain the boundary challenges connected to this scenario.
What are student safety, campus relationships, confidentiality? Discuss challenges around maintaining positive relationships with campus staff when you have overheard or witnessed negative talk of students.
500
A weekly supportive meeting between you and your program manager.
What is supervision? *Because boundaries issues are so complex and fall many times into the grey, supervision is the best tool for managing tough boundary situations.
500
Distinguishing between what is mentoring and what is counseling.
What is a blurred or fine line? This can be a big challenge, especially when a relationship has been formed. Let's discuss certain scenarios and how to handle them.
500
Promising to keep details shared during a session a secret.
What is Yea to Grey to Nay? Yea - my mom's going to have a baby Grey - my parents fight a lot at home Nay - I want to run away; I sometimes cut myself