The Basics
What is the Pinwheel of Emotions?
The pinwheel of emotions is a colorful wheel of categorized emotions that aims to strengthen your emotional vocabulary by moving emotions from broad to specific (Angry > Frustrated)
Give me an example of a Physical Cue
Physical Cues include how your body responds—with an increased heart rate, tightness in the chest, feeling hot or flushed.
What are some examples types of boundaries?
Mental, Emotional, Material, Internal, Conversational, Physical, Time.
What is the FIRST stage of the Aggression Cycle?
Buildup.
Indicated by cues that anger is building or increasing. Remember, cues are warning signs, or responses, to anger-related events. If the buildup continues, it turns into the explosion stage.
What are Cognitive Distortions?
Cognitive Distortions are negative thinking patterns that can distort our perception of reality in certain situations.
What is the Feelings Thermometer? What is the goal of using the Feelings Thermometer?
The Feelings Thermometer is a tool that helps us recognize where our emotional intensity is at on a scale of 1-10. By recognizing where our intensity is at, we can be more aware of the need to de-escalate from certain situations.
Give an example of a Behavioral Cue?
What you do—clench your fists, raise your voice, stare at others, etc...
What does it mean when someone has a Passive-Aggressive communication style?
Passive-Aggressive communication is when someone is indirectly telling you something, oftentimes in a "direct but indirect way". Think of subtle hints, sarcasm, or nudges to what the person is trying to tell you.
(Spongebob video: "Get a job" soup).
What is the SECOND stage of the Aggression Cycle?
Explosion
Discharging anger that is displayed as verbal or physical aggression.
What is Fortune Telling?
Fortune Telling is where we think we know that something is going to happen before it does.
(Not going to an event because we "think we know" we'll have a bad time).
What is the difference between General triggers and Red-Flag triggers?
General triggers are things that would make anyone upset (someone cutting us off on the road).
Ref Flag triggers are things that are unique to you that may trigger an episode of anger (someone comparing you to your parents).
Give me an example of an Emotional Cue
Other feelings that may occur along with anger—fear, hurt, jealousy, disrespect.
What are porous boundaries?
Porous boundaries are FLEXIBLE boundaries. This means letting both the good and bad things in. These people are often walked over because they struggle with saying NO.
What is the FINAL stage of the Aggression Cycle?
Aftermath
Characterized by the negative consequences that result from the verbal or physical aggression displayed during the explosion phase.
What is Catastrophizing?
Catastrophizing is when we take a situation that may be a "little deal" and turn it into a "end of the world" situation.
(Someone looking at me funny and automatically assuming that they must hate me).
What is the CBT Triangle?
A concept from Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) that states our thoughts, feelings, and behaviors are all influenced by one another in no particular order.
Give me an example of a Cognitive Cue
What you think about in response to the event—hostile self-talk, images of aggression and revenge.
Assertiveness is being forward but respectful. Understanding the other people's perspective and feelings, while also advocating for your own.
What stage does a 7 from the Feelings Thermometer fall under on the Aggression Cycle?
Anything a 10 and above is the EXPLOSION.
Anything below a 10 is the BUILDUP.
What is Cognitive Restructuring?
When we take a negative thought and "reframe" it into a more productive thought.
10-minute grace period, ensure you are in a private location to protect confidentiality of peers, no driving while in group, no use of substances during group (includes vaping/smoking), do not show any paraphernalia, you CAN eat/drink in group (as long as it's not a substance).
Example: Teddy is hanging out with his friends. When his buddy pokes fun at Teddy's outfit, Teddy begins to get angry and starts to yell at his friends. Storming away, Teddy slams the door shut on his way out.
What may be some of the anger cues in this example?
Physical Cues: Increased heart rate, adrenaline, sweating/shaking, etc...
Behavioral Cues: Yelling, slamming the door
Emotional Cues: Jealous, Disrespected, Hurt
Cognitive Cues: Thinking badly about his friends or himself.
Open response!
What is the goal of Anger Management?
To prevent you from reaching the EXPLOSION stage.
Identify the Distortion and Restructure:
"I got second place... I'm a failure".
All or Nothing Thinking (Black & White)
"Although I got second place, I still did a good job! I'm proud of how far I've come, but there is still work to be done!"