Poorly Translated (descriptive)
So like, there's this thing where a bunch of people kick balls and try real hard to be the best at it, 'cause someone wants to make a super good kicker for the country team. Everyone runs around doing stuff alone and with other people to be the top kicker guy. One dude wasn’t cool with it at first 'cause it’s kinda not nice, but then he’s like “eh whatever” and starts doing it anyway, even if it makes a whole bunch of other dream-havers super sad forever.
Blue Lock
"I will take a potato chip...and EAT IT"
Light Yagami
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Gojo Satoru
Mousou Dairinin
a) Perfect blue
b) Children of the Whales
c) Paranoia Agent
d) Psycho-Pass
Paranoia Agent
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Izuku Midoriya
So there’s this regular school kid just doing school stuff, and then some big creepy ghost monster thing shows up and starts causing problems for his family. Then this sword ghost lady shows up to help but kinda gets messed up. So she’s like “yo take my ghost powers,” and the kid’s like “okay I guess,” and then boom — now he’s a ghost sword guy too. Because reasons.
Bleach
"Don’t talk, it makes you sound stupid."
Yusuke Urameshi
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Ai Hoshino
Boku dake ga Inai Machi
a) The Promised Neverland
b) Erased
c) The Tatami Galaxy
d) Ping Pong the Animation
Erased
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Shoya Ishida
Human bald unit wants "hero job" for emotional child-memory reasons. Performs intense flailings of limbs (possibly ritual?) until head-hairs evacuate. Achieves maximum punch-force: one hit = enemy go poof into non-aliveness. Now no battle provides thrill chemicals. Bald unit wanders meat-world with empty face and no excite. Enemy beings approach with much loud, receive fist, experience instant deletion. Human says: "Why do no beings challenge meat-power?" Very sad. Very punch. Much bald. End?
Super Serious Punch Man
"If you die, I’ll kill you!"
Roronoa Zoro
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Eren Yeager
Saraiya Goyou
a) House of Five Leaves
b) Alderamin on the Sky
c) Vivy: Fluorite Eye’s Song
d) Kabaneri of the Iron Fortress
House of Five Leaves
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Itachi Uchiha
Okay so like, there’s this shiny head-bucket thingy called NerveGear or NerfGear or something, and gamers slap it on and poof they’re in fake castle land with swords and stuff. It’s like medieval times but also not, ‘cause it’s all made up in brain-computer space magic. People go crazy for it, like “wow this game so real I forget to eat chips.” Now everyone’s all about pretend sword swinging in pixel land and maybe also real life? Who knows.
Sword Art Online
"If you use your head, you won’t get fat even if you eat sweets."
L Lawliet
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Spike Spiegel
Sakamichi no Apollon
a) Penguindrum
b) Kids on the Slope
c) Fastest Finger First
d) Arakawa Under the Bridge
Kids on the Slope
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Yusuke Urameshi
Dude do spooky wiggle club and stare at sick meat-box all day. Then finger snack happen, but not good finger, bad finger from big mean scary thing. Boom boom ghost boom ghost no stop, scary vibes everywhere, bad stuff go zap zap kablam. Now dude stuck in freaky curse soup, no fun times, just big sad wiggle. Why finger? Who finger? Finger bad. End wiggle.
Jujutsu Kaisen
"people die when they are killed"
Shirou Emiya
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Ciel Phantomhive
Kuuchuu Buranko
a) Children of the Whales
b) Patema Inverted
c) Now and Then, Here and There
d) Welcome to Irabu's Office
Welcome to Irabu's Office
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Gintoki Sakata