DV Group Assertive Communication

"I" Statements

100

True or False:

"I" Statements are meant to strip you of your manhood/masculinity

False - Explain why

200

True or False:

"I feel angry" is a correct and complete use of "I" statements

False - Merely stating your feelings is only part of the "I" statement - it must be followed by a clear and specific explanation as to why you feel this way

300

Your partner came home from work and without explanation or engaging in conversation with you, went to the bedroom and started playing video games. Give an example of an "I" statement you can use here

Answers vary

400

True or False:

"You made me angry, so I feel I have a right to yell" is a correct use of "I" Statements

False - explain how you could re-word this

500

Which of the following is a correct use of an "I" statement:

a) When you don't come home or call, I get worried something has happened to you

b) I feel scared when you raise your voice

c) When you criticize me in front of our friends, I feel hurt and disrespected

d) I feel de-valued when you choose to talk with people I don't know and don't include me

e) All of the above

e) All of the above. It is a personal choice to use "When you" first or "I feel" first, so long as both pieces are present

Assertive/Aggressive

100

If you don't do what I want, I'm shutting off your debit card

Aggressive - this is a form of financial control and abuse

200

I feel hurt when you don't include me in decision-making. I would appreciate it if, in the future, you would ask my opinion before making plans for us. Otherwise I will choose not to participate

Assertive. "I" statement is effectively used, including a request for change in behavior, and an appropriate consequence

300

Standing quietly while the other person is speaking, with arms folded, looking them up and down

Aggressive

400

Standing quietly while the other person is speaking, with shoulders square and arms at your side, making and maintaining eye-contact with relaxed facial expression

Assertive

500

When you speak about me to others without me around, I feel disrespected. I appreciate you voicing your concerns to me in private so we can discuss them.

Assertive - proper use of "I" statement

Turn It Around

100

We need to talk

I have a need to talk. Do you have the head space to hear me out for a few minutes?

200

You make me crazy

I feel upset when you ______. I would appreciate it if you could do _____ instead because it would make me feel more connected...

300

I hate it when you control me

When you give me so many instructions, it makes me feel you don't trust me. I would appreciate it if _______

400

I'm a Gemini, and you know this about me, so deal with it

I realize I struggle with moods and accept responsibility for my actions. I will do better

500

You ALWAYS do this!

We have had similar discussions in the past. I feel unheard when I sense behaviors do not change. I would appreciate it if you would put more effort into the changes we discussed