Feelings & Needs
What is a “need”?
Something that helps us feel okay, safe, and cared for—like food, sleep, support, friendship, or feeling listened to.
Which attachment style is usually comfortable trusting people and being close to them?
Secure attachment
Name something that makes a friendship or relationship healthy.
Trust, respect, kindness, honesty, communication, or having good boundaries.
Your friend doesn't text you back for a few hours. Does that automatically mean they're mad at you?
No! They could be busy, sleeping, doing homework, with family, or just haven't checked their phone.
Asking someone for help means you're weak.
FALSE! Everyone needs help sometimes.
Why might someone want to hear, “Everything is okay”?
They might feel worried or unsure and want some reassurance.
Which attachment style might really want people to like them but worry that people will leave?
Anxious attachment
What is a boundary?
A limit that tells people what you're comfortable with and what you're not comfortable with.
Your friend says, “I need some space.” What could you do?
Respect their space and let them know you'll be there when they're ready to talk.
People can learn new ways to handle relationships.
TRUE!
What does it mean to feel safe with someone?
You feel like you can be yourself, talk about your feelings, and trust that they will treat you with respect.
Which attachment style might make someone want lots of personal space and have a hard time getting close to people?
Avoidant attachment
Is saying “I don't want to talk about that right now” a boundary?
Yes!
You and your friend disagree. What is one healthy thing you can do?
Calm down, listen to each other, and explain how you feel.
If someone has an anxious attachment style, they'll always be anxious.
FALSE! Attachment styles are patterns, not permanent labels.
Why might being left out hurt someone's feelings?
They might feel unwanted, unimportant, or worried that people don't like them.
What does someone with a secure attachment style usually feel comfortable doing?
Getting close to people, asking for help, talking about feelings, and also spending time on their own.
What is a good way to tell someone you're upset?
Tell them how you feel without blaming or yelling at them. For example: “I felt hurt when that happened.”
Your friend keeps changing plans at the last minute. What could you say?
“I feel frustrated when our plans change at the last minute. Can we figure something out that works for both of us?”
Two people with different attachment styles can still be good friends.
TRUE!
Name one thing you can do when you're worried about a friend or relationship.
Take some deep breaths, talk to someone you trust, give yourself some time, or remind yourself that you don't know exactly what the other person is thinking.
What are the four attachment styles we are learning about?
Secure, anxious, avoidant, and disorganized
Why are trust and communication important?
They help people understand each other and feel safe and respected.
Your friend is upset and doesn't want to talk. Name TWO things you could do.
Give them some space, let them know you're there for them, avoid guessing what they're thinking, or check in later.
If someone is having a hard time trusting people, does that make them a bad person?
No! It means they may have a hard time trusting people right now. We can have challenges and still be good people.