Bad Funny
Why did I go golfing with two pairs of pants on?
In case I got a hole in 1.
David’s parents have seven children: Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, and what’s the name of the third child?
David.
The more you have of it, the less you see.
Darkness.
What turns everything around but does not move?
A mirror.
Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
He didn't have it in him.
What do you call a snowman in the summer?
Water.
When I take five and add six, I get eleven, but when I take six and add seven, I get one. What am I?
A clock.
Where does today come before yesterday?
The dictionary.
Why did the grandma put wheels on her rocking chair?
Because she likes to rock and roll.
What gives you the strength and power to walk through walls?
Doors.
Mr. Smith has 4 daughters. Each of his daughters has a brother. How many children does Mr. Smith have?
He has 5 children, all of the daughters have the same 1 brother.
A farmer has 10 cows, all but six die, how many are left?
Six.
There is an apple tree on a cliff. If the wind is blowing 15mph to the west, where would the apple fall?
Down.
What is a skeleton's favorite snack?
Spare ribs.
A boy and a doctor was out eating. The boy is the doctor's son but the doctor is not the boys father. How is that possible?
The doctor is the boy's mother.
What is harder to catch the faster you run?
Your breath.
What word is always pronounced wrong?
Wrong
What word can you add letters to to make it shorter?
Short.
Two mothers and two daughters went out to eat, everyone ate one burger, yet only three burgers were eaten in all. How is this possible?
They were a grandmother, mother and daughter.
How many months have 28 days?
All 12 months have at least 28 days.