WHAT'S REALLY HAPPENING?
A student says:
“I'm just lazy.”
But they've been stressed, tired, and worried about school.
What is a better question to ask?
A. Why are you lazy?
B. Why can't you just do it?
C. What's making this hard right now?
D. Why are you upset?
C. “What's making this hard right now?”
What does people-pleasing mean?
A. Being nice
B. Helping people
C. Caring so much about making others happy that you forget about yourself
D. Having lots of friends
C. Caring so much about making others happy that you forget about yourself
True or False:
Taking a break when you're really upset can be healthy.
TRUE
“I feel overwhelmed.”
Is this a:
A. Feeling
B. Need
C. Behavior
A. Feeling
“I've been a little more tired than usual.”
EARLY, MIDDLE, OR LATE?
EARLY
Someone says:
“I'm fine.”
But they've been really tired, avoiding people, and getting annoyed easily.
What could “I'm fine” actually mean?
A. They definitely feel great.
B. They might not know how to explain what they're feeling.
C. They have no problems.
D. They don't have any needs.
B. They might not know how to explain what they're feeling.
True or False:
You can care about someone and still say no.
TRUE
You are really upset, so you listen to music for 20 minutes.
After calming down, you go back and deal with the problem.
Is this:
A. Avoidance
B. Healthy distraction
C. People-pleasing
D. Ignoring your needs
B. Healthy distraction
“I need some quiet time.”
Is this a:
A. Feeling
B. Need
C. Behavior
B. Need
“I'm starting to avoid things I need to do.”
EARLY, MIDDLE, OR LATE?
MIDDLE
Your brain is thinking about:
You suddenly realize you're extremely irritated.
What might have happened?
A. You became angry for no reason.
B. Your brain was so busy that you missed smaller warning signs.
C. Someone made you angry.
D. You were being dramatic.
B. Your brain was so busy that you missed smaller warning signs.
Your friend asks you to hang out.
You are exhausted and really need to rest.
You say:
“Yes, even though I don't want to, because I don't want you to be mad.”
What is happening?
A. Healthy helping
B. People-pleasing
C. Problem-solving
D. Healthy distraction
B. People-pleasing
You are nervous about homework.
Instead of starting, you play on your phone for two hours.
You feel better for a little while, but now you're even more stressed.
Is this:
A. Healthy distraction
B. Avoidance
C. Self-care
D. Problem-solving
B. Avoidance
“I keep avoiding my homework.”
Is this a:
A. Feeling
B. Need
C. Behavior
C. Behavior
“Everything feels like too much, and I can't handle my normal responsibilities.”
EARLY, MIDDLE, OR LATE?
LATE
You notice you're getting tired and irritated.
Which response is healthier?
A: “I'm fine. I'll keep going.”
B: “Something feels different. I should stop and figure out what I need.”
B: “Something feels different. I should stop and figure out what I need.”
Someone asks you to do something.
Before saying yes, what are THREE things you could check?
Finish the pattern:
Problem → Avoid it → Feel better for a little while → Problem is still there → ______
More stress
Someone says:
“I'm angry, so everyone needs to leave me alone.”
Why isn't the feeling automatically telling them exactly what to do?
A feeling gives you information, but it doesn't always tell you the perfect action to take.
“Little things are bothering me more than usual.”
EARLY, MIDDLE, OR LATE?
EARLY
A person doesn't notice they're struggling until they're completely overwhelmed.
What could they have done earlier?
Notice the smaller signs, pause, and figure out what they needed before things became so big.
Your friend is sad.
Which response shows caring without carrying their problem?
A. “I have to make you feel better.”
B. “I'll fix this for you.”
C. “I'm here for you, and maybe we can find someone who can help.”
D. “Your problem is my problem now.”
C. “I'm here for you, and maybe we can find someone who can help.”
Why can avoiding something make it harder the next time?
Because your brain learns:
“Avoiding this makes me feel better.”
So your brain may want to avoid it again.
Someone feels lonely.
They decide to spend even more time alone because talking to people feels uncomfortable.
What might be happening?
Their action might make them feel better for a little while, but it may not help with the actual need for connection.
“I've completely shut down and don't want to talk to anyone.”
EARLY, MIDDLE, OR LATE?
LATE