What do you call a pig that does karate?
a pork chop
Why did the cookie go to the hospital?
What did one toilet say to the other toilet?
you look flushed
Why did the chicken cross the park?
to get to the other slide
Why did the invisible man turn down the job offer?
he couldn't see himself doing it
What’s black and white and read all over?
a newspaper
Why did the ball leave the party early?
he was on a roll
Why did the robber jump in the shower?
he wanted to make a clean getaway
What do you call a sleeping bull?
a bulldozer
Why can’t a nose be 12 inches long?
then it'd be a foot
Why do melons have weddings?
they canteloupe
How do you make a tissue dance?
you put a little boogie in it
Why did the photo go to jail?
it was framed
Why did the golfer bring an extra pair of pants?
because he got a hole in one
Why is the grass so dangerous?
it's full of blades
Why did the baby strawberry cry?
his parents were in a jam
Why did the scarecrow win an award?
he was outstanding in his field
What kind of jewelry do rabbits wear?
14 carrot gold
Where do polar bears keep their money?
in a snowbank
How do you fix a cracked pumpkin?
with a pumpkin patch
What do you call a factory that makes okay products?
a satis-factory
What did the ocean say to the sand?
Why couldn’t the sailor learn his alphabet?
he kept getting lost at "c"
What do lawyers wear to court?
lawsuits
What does the dentist of the year get?
a little plaque