“WHAT AM I ACTUALLY FEELING?”
When my stepmom yells or talks about me where I can hear it, I mostly feel ______.
hurt vs angry vs rejected vs small.
One thing that makes my mood drop fast is ______.
When my stepmom yells.
When she talks about me where I can hear it.
When I feel ignored by my dad.
When I feel left out.
When I feel like I don’t belong.
When I think someone doesn’t like me.
When I get in trouble unfairly.
I’m the only one keeping the relationship alive” — this might be what thinking error?
Personalization.
When I’m at BJJ, I feel ______.
strong
in control
confident
focused
powerful
disciplined
calm
respected
capable
like I can defend myself
My sister not going over to dads makes me feel ______.
alone
sad
guilty
responsible
abandoned
like I’m the only one
pressured
stuck
frustrated
When I’m at my mom’s house, I feel ______.
SAFE
When I start thinking “I don’t belong here,” my body feels ______.
Tight chest
Stomach drops
Headache
Heavy
Like I want to disappear
Quiet
Shaky
Tense
Like I need to leave
My stepmom doesn’t like me, so I must not be wanted there” — this is what kind of leap?
Mind reading or overgeneralizing.
When I play volleyball, I feel ______.
part of a team
included
energetic
competitive (in a good way)
distracted from stress
happy
free
connected
proud
Part of me worries that if I stop going to my dads, ______.
my dad will be alone
he’ll be hurt
he’ll be mad at me
I’ll lose my relationship with him
he’ll think I don’t love him
things will get worse
I’ll regret it
I’ll disappoint him
When I’m at my dad’s house, I feel ______.
Not heard or seen
When I shut down or get quiet, it usually means ______.
I’m overwhelmed.
I don’t feel safe to talk.
I don’t want to make it worse.
I’m scared I’ll cry.
I don’t think anyone will listen.
I’m trying not to get in trouble.
I’m protecting myself.
What’s a more balanced thought than “I don’t belong there”?
“It doesn’t feel like home yet.”
“I belong to my dad even if his house feels weird.”
“I can choose how much emotional space I give this.”
One thing I’ve survived that proves I’m strong is ______.
my suicide attempts
going to the hospital and coming back
dealing with my stepmom
7th grade friendships
social anxiety
switching between two houses
telling my mom the truth
staying in therapy even though I didn’t want to
If my sister were sitting here, she would probably tell me
It’s not your fault.
You don’t have to fix it.
Do what’s best for you.
I love you.
I don’t want you to feel pressured.
I made my choice for me.
I can love my dad AND still feel ______ about his house.
uncomfortable
anxious
uneasy
out of place
not at home
hurt
overwhelmed
on edge
guarded
sad
The guilt I feel about my sister not going over to dads — that guilt is trying to tell me ______.
I don’t want to lose my dad.
I feel alone there.
I don’t want to be the only one.
I feel responsible.
I wish things were different.
I want my family together.
I’m scared something will change.
Two things that are true at the same time about my dad are:
(Ex: He loves me. He hasn’t always shown up how I needed.)
When things feel 8/10 intense, one thing that actually helps (even a little) is ______.
texting my mom
talking to my sister
going to my room
listening to music
watching anime
deep breathing
BJJ practice
going outside
distracting myself
Is it possible that my sister made her choice for her own mental health?Does that mean I have to sacrifice mine?
yes and no
If my feelings at dad’s house had a color like in the genogram, they would be ______ because ______.
“They would be yellow because I feel nervous and on edge there.” (Anxiety, hypervigilance.)
“They would be red because I feel angry or irritated.”(Anger about stepmom, fairness, yelling.)
“They would be blue because I feel sad and kind of alone.” (Displacement, not feeling at home.)
Is it actually my job to fix the relationship between my dad and sister?
That’s between them.
I can’t control their relationship.
I can only control my choices.
It’s not my responsibility to hold the family together.
If my brain was trying to protect me with these thoughts, it’s afraid of ______.
losing my dad
not being important to him
being replaced
not belonging anywhere
getting hurt again
being yelled at
feeling small
being alone at his house
not being chosen
things never getting better
If I had a “Dad’s House Survival Kit,” it would include:
Headphones (music = regulation + space)
A comfort hoodie or blanket
Journal or notes app
A grounding playlist
Anime episodes downloaded
A fidget item
If I could tell my dad ONE honest sentence about how it feels there, it would be:
“I love you, but I don’t feel at home there.”
“I want to spend time with you, but it’s hard when I feel uncomfortable.”
“Sometimes I feel small when I’m there.”
“I need more time with just you.”
“I don’t feel like I belong in the house.”
“I want our relationship, but I need it to feel safer.”
“I get anxious when there’s yelling.”
“I don’t want to lose you, but it’s hard for me there.”