Safety Alarms
My imaginary smoke alarm goes off in my brain when I get an "uh oh" feeling and feel unsafe. What warning signs might my body give me to let me know I don't feel safe.
Heart racing, sweating, goosebumps, feel shaky, feel like I need to go to the bathroom, stomach feels upset/sick, my hair stands up, crying, ect.
Secret or Surprise: Not telling about a Birthday party
Surprise!
If someone enters my personal _____, and I don't like it. I can tell them I feel uncomfortable and ask them to stop. If this doesn't work, I can tell a safe adult.
space/bubble
This kind of touch makes you feel comfortable, safe, cared for, and happy.
Safe/welcome touches
Sarah's neighbor keeps giving her hugs even though she asked them to stop and does not like this. Is this a safe or unsafe touch?
Unsafe touch. If we are uncomfortable with something, it is an unsafe touch.
"Fire" situations are situations when we are actually unsafe. Give an example of a "fire" regarding body safety.
*Answers can vary*
Someone giving unwelcome/unsafe touches.
Someone breaking the private part rules.
Someone not listening to my boundaries.
Somone showing me inappropriate things or asking me to do inappropriate things.
Secret or Surprise: You feel uncomfortable or stressed keeping it to yourself because it could hurt you or someone else.
an (unsafe/bad) secret
If someone is breaking the private part rules, I can say "No!" Demonstrate how to do this assertively/confidently. (Hint: We want to make sure they know we mean business!)
Say this LOUDLY and clearly. We can also hold out our hand and move away from them while we say it. Standing up straight and making eye contact shows we are confident.
This kind of touch hurts your body, hurts your feelings, or makes you feel confused/or uncomfortable.
Unsafe/unwelcome touch
Jimmy's teachers gives him high fives at the end of the day, and this is something he feels comfortable with. Is this a safe or unsafe touch?
This is a safe touch. A high five is safe and Jimmy feels comfortable giving his teacher a high five.
"False Alarms" are situations that are actually safe but may be triggering due to a trauma reminder (like hearing the word sexual abuse or hearing the name of the person who hurt me). When I am actually safe, I can use ____ skills to calm down and help my brain know I am not in danger.
Coping
examples: Birthday Breathing, 5 Senses Grounding, Counting to 10, Drawing/Coloring
Should it ever be a secret for a grownup to look at or touch your private parts?
No- even if a doctor needs to do this to make sure you are safe/healthy, this should never be a secret and a parent should be with you.
If possible, we can try to ___ away as fast as we can, and it is safest to get to a place with other people around.
GO
True of False: A welcome touch to one person might be an unwelcome touch to another person.
True!
Some people like hugs; other people prefer high fives. Welcome touches are ones we feel comfortable with, don't break the private part rules, and we consent/agree to without being pressured.
Shelby's uncle forces her to sit on his lap. Shelby does not like this and feels uncomfortable. Shelby's uncle tells her to keep this a secret. What should Shelby do?
Shelby should tell a trusted adult, even though her uncle asked her to keep it a secret. If Shelby's uncle tried this again, she should said "no" or "stop" and then get a trusted adult to help.
The "uh oh" feeling may indicate I am unsafe, but if I am having a hard time figuring out if something is safe or not, I can ask a grownup on my safety team.
Name 3 people you could ask.
Surprises usually make us feel __________.
happy, excited, shocked (positive feelings mostly)
Whether or not we were able to say no or go away, we can always ___ a safe adult as soon as possible.
TELL
and if someone does not listen or keep us safe, we can keep telling until we are safe.
True or False: if a type of touch was welcome to someone before, that means it is always welcome.
False! We may be okay with a hug one day when we are sad but not comfortable with someone doing this without asking the next day.
Since we are the bosses of our own body, it is important that we agree/want each touch no matter if we have wanted them before or not.
Jack's friend from school asked if he would like a hug at the end of the school year to say goodbye, and Jack agreed to this. Is this a safe or unsafe touch?
This is a safe touch.
If someone asks you to keep a secret that makes you feel uncomfortable, scared, or bad, is this most likely a fire or false alarm situation?
FIRE! Safe adults should not ask you to keep secrets that make you worried, especially if they tell you to not tell people you know are safe (like your parent).
Bad secrets normally make us feel ______.
Uncomfortable, ashamed, stressed, worried, scared, mad (negative feelings)
I am the ___ of my own body!
BOSS
It is my body, and what I say goes!
To make sure my touch is welcome to others, I can ___ them first, and if they say no, I can respect their decision.
A friend at school asks to see or touch your private parts. What should you do?
Tell them no, go away from them if you can, and then tell a grownup in your safety network.