Types of Boundaries
What are Physical Boundaries ??
What is personal space, physical touch, material items, etc.
What are healthy personal boundaries?
Healthy boundaries are the limits and rules we set for ourselves within relationships. A person with a healthy boundary can say “no” to others when they want to, and they are also comfortable opening themselves up to intimacy and close relationships.
What is confident body language?
- eye contact
- steady tone of voice
- not too quiet or not too loud
- not crossing arms
True or False:
You always have the right to say “no?”
(This does not include your parents)
True
Your friend calls you at 11pm to talk about issues he/she is having with their partner. You wake up at 6am for school. How would you set a boundary here?
I’m sorry you are having problems with your partner; however, I have to be up early for school. Can we talk before class tomorrow?
Protect the feelings or emotions of another person or your own emotions.
What is Emotional Boundaries
“Know your values” – What are some of your values?
-Spending time with family
- Happiness
- Overall health
- freedom
- Safety
- leisure/me time
- Etc.
How to compromise with someone?
Listen and consider the needs of the other person. “Give and take” is a part of any healthy relationship
True or False:
Saying “I’m not comfortable with this” is saying “no?”
True
You invited a friend over for the evening, but now it’s getting late. You would like to get ready for bed, but your friend seems unaware of how late it is. How would you set a boundary here?
It’s getting pretty late and I want to get ready for bed. Unfortunately, it’s time for you to go but I look forward to hanging out again.
When are Sexual Boundaries Violated?
Sexual boundaries can be violated with unwanted sexual touch, pressure to engage in sexual acts, leering, or sexual comments.
How to be Assertive?
-Setting a boundary.
-Clearly stating your needs and wants
-Confident body language
-Appropriate speaking volume
-Respect yourself
What is a boundary?
An imaginary wall or barrier that keeps us feeling safe, comfortable, and protected.
Scenario:
Sally had a few friends over to the house. One of them brought alcohol. She was not feeling uncomfortable. When they asked if it was okay to drink, she said, “Sure, that’s fine.”
True or False- Is this a good example of saying “no?” If false, explain why.
False: she should have responded with “I’m not comfortable with this” or something similar.
A good friend asks you out on a date. You are not interested in being more than friends. You would like to let them down clearly, but gently. How would you set a boundary here?
I am not interested in being more than friends and I would gladly continue to be friends.
List some common Social/Cultural Boundaries
What is Shaking hands; kissing on cheek, saying excuse me; not swearing; not making loud bodily sounds; not interrupting someone when speaking
If you always give in to others, are too open, put others needs before your own needs all the time. This means you _____?
Lack / not having self-respect
How could someone’s physical boundaries be violated?
Touching them without consent, touching things that don’t belong to the other person, going into someone's room without asking, etc.
Give an example of how to say “no,” without using ones already provided.
“I don’t want to do that.”
“I’ve decided not to.”
“Not at this time.”
(Other examples are welcome)
A salesperson comes to your door during dinner. You try to politely show disinterest, but they keep giving their sales pitch. You want to get back to dinner. How would you set a boundary here?
Can I have your card so I can contact you later. I am currently eating dinner.
How can Someone’s Time Boundaries be Violated?
Time boundaries are violated when one person demands to much of another person’s time.
Why is listening to your emotions a tip for a healthy boundary?
If you don’t listen to your emotions then it could result in not setting a boundary when needed. Resentment can be traced to feelings of being taken advantage of.
How have victims had their boundaries broken?
- Physical
- Emotional
- Sexual
- (Specific examples are allowed)
What is one thing you can’t say “no” to? (*Think outside of the box. Disclaimer this one is hard.)
The law
You notice your roommate has been eating your food in the fridge. You never discussed plans to share food, and don’t want them eating what you bought. How would you set a boundary here?
I’d like to keep our food separate. If there’s something of mind that you want, please ask me.