Types of Boundaries
Physical Boundaries
What is personal space, physical touch, material items, etc.
What is a healthy boundary?
The limits and rules we set for ourselves within relationships.
What are some examples of confident body language?
- eye contact
- steady tone of voice
- not too quiet or not too loud
- not crossing arms
are examples of this...
True or False:
You always have the right to say “no?”
True
Your friend calls you at 11pm to talk about issues he/she is having with their friend. You wake up at 6am for school. What is something you can say to set up a boundary.
"I’m sorry you are having problems with your friend; however, I have to be up early for school. Can we talk later tomorrow?"
Protect the feelings or emotions of another person or your own emotions.
What is Emotional Boundaries
What are values?
Spending time with family and/or friends, happiness, overall health, freedom, safety, and leisure time are all examples of this.
Define what a compromise is
Listen and consider the needs of the other person. “Give and take” is a part of any healthy relationship
True or False:
Saying “I’m not comfortable with this” is saying “no”
True
You invited a friend over for the evening, but now it’s getting late. You would like to get ready for bed, but your friend seems unaware of how late it is.
Set the boundary here.
It’s getting pretty late and I want to get ready for bed. Unfortunately, it’s time for you to go but I look forward to hanging out again.
Define a boundary
A boundary is a rule that you make about how others can treat you. It lets others know what is and is not okay.
Define what being assertive looks like
-Setting a boundary.
-Clearly stating your needs and wants
-Confident body language
-Appropriate speaking volume
-Respect yourself
An imaginary wall or barrier that keeps us feeling safe, comfortable, and protected.
What is: boundary
Scenario:
Alex had a few friends over to the house. One of them brought over another guy that his parents don't want him to hang out with. Alex was feeling uncomfortable. When Alex's good friend asked if it was okay to bring this other guy over, Alex said, “Sure, that’s fine.”
True or False- Is this a good example of sticking to boundaries? If false, explain why.
False: she should have responded with “I’m not comfortable with this” or something similar.
A friend keeps asking you to go over to her house to hang out. You are not interested in going to her house that often. You would like to let them know clearly, but gently.
Set a boundary here.
I need some alone time. I enjoy your company, but I won't be able to hang out with you as often as you'd like.
List some common Social/Cultural Boundaries
What is Shaking hands; kissing on cheek, saying excuse me; not swearing; not making loud bodily sounds; not interrupting someone when speaking
If you always give in to others, are too open, put others needs before your own needs all the time. This means you _____.
Are not sticking to your boundaries and utilizing passive communication over assertive.
Touching them without consent, touching things that don’t belong to the other person, going into someone's room without asking, etc.
What is: How physical boundaries are violated
Give an example of how to say “no,” without using ones already provided.
“I don’t want to do that.”
“I’ve decided not to.”
“Not at this time.”
(Other examples are welcome)
A family member calls you in the middle of dinner. They won't stop talking no matter how many times you've hinted that you're eating. You want to get back to dinner. How would you set a boundary here?
I am currently eating dinner. Is it alright if I call you back when I'm done or at another time?
Time Boundaries can be violated by this
What is: one person demanding too much of another person’s time.
Listen to your emotions in an effort to not feel being taken advantage of. This is a tip for __________.
A healthy boundary
What are examples of someone not respecting your emotional boundaries?
- someone criticizing your feelings
- someone telling you what/how to feel
- being asked inappropriate questions
- having someone go through our personal information without our permission
What is one thing you can’t say “no” to? (*Think outside of the box. Disclaimer this one is hard.)
The law
You notice your sibling has been using your art supplies. You never discussed plans to share art supplies, and don’t want them to keep using what you bought. How would you set a boundary here?
I’d like to keep our art and craft supplies separate. I paid for these with my own money. If there’s something of mine that you want, please ask me.