Boundary Types
What boundary type refers to respecting someone's personal space?
Physical
What are the three boundary styles?
Rigid, Porous, Healthy.
What is an example of crossing a material boundary?
Stealing or damaging someone's property.
Peer pressuring someone into them giving them the desired item.
A friend wants you to try anchovies and they are not taking no for an answer. How are you going to set boundaries with them in this moment? What will you say to them?
Tips-
Be assertive.
What sort of boundaries would you see in a healthy relationship? Give at least two examples.
The ability to communicate their needs
Respects needs of others
Shares personal information in an appropriate way
Accepts no
Values own opinions
This boundary type refers to your money.
Material.
What characteristics make someone have a rigid boundary style? Name 3.
Unlikely to ask for help.
Very few close relationships.
Very protective of personal information.
Always says no.
Doesn't care about other peoples opinions.
How would someone cross an emotional boundary?
Criticizing, belittling or invalidating their feelings.
Revealing personal information about someone without their consent.
You've been hanging out with your best friend every day after school. You're really behind on schoolwork. You tell them that you can't hang out until you get caught up on your work, but then they begin to guilt trip you. How are you going to set boundaries with them in this moment? What will your say in response to them?
Tips-
Consider the long term consequences of giving in.
Know your limits and your values.
Be assertive!
What are some pros and cons of having rigid boundaries? Give two examples for each side.
Pros: People don't get a chance to break your trust. You are less likely to be hurt emotionally...etc.
Cons: Others may be scared to be friends with you. You may feel lonely a lot of the time...etc.
This boundary type refers to how a person balances their day between school, friendships, and family. What is it?
Time.
What characteristics make someone have a porous boundary style? Name 3.
-Overshares personal information.
-Difficulty saying no.
-Accepting of abuse or disrespect.
-Fears rejection.
-Overinvolved in other people's problems.
How would someone violate an intellectual boundary?
Someone dismisses or belittles their ideas.
A couple of classmates want you to curse out your teacher in front of the whole class because they don't like their grades on the most recent test. You don't like your grade either. How do you set boundaries with them and your teacher? What do you say to both parties?
Tips:
Classmates: Know your limits and consider the consequences of your negative actions.
Teacher: Be respectful when communicating your feelings about your grade.
What are some pros and cons to having porous boundaries with someone? Give two examples for each.
Pros: You don't have an issue trusting anyone. You have no secrets to hide from anybody...etc
Cons: You may make people uncomfortable with how much you tell them. You may have a harder time understanding who is really your friend vs who isn't...etc.
This boundary type refers to respecting someone's thoughts and ideas. What is it?
Intellectual.
What characteristics does someone have to have in order to have healthy boundaries? Name 3.
Doesn't compromise their own values for other people.
Shares personal information in an appropriate way.
Accepts no.
Able to communicate personal wants and needs.
Respects others boundaries.
What is an example of crossing a time boundary?
Someone demands too much of someone else's personal time.
Someone is late or doesn't show up to an agreed meet up, without telling them.
Your mom is having a bad day and yells at you for not cleaning up after yourself. She takes away your video games for the night. How do you set boundaries with her in this moment? What do you say to her in response to this?
Tips:
Take a break if things are very upsetting. Know your limits.
Communicate your feelings when both you and your mom are in a calm state and are able to listen to each other. Be respectful.
When does never saying "No" to anyone become a problem?
When you don't have time to do things for yourself.
When you do things you wouldn't normally do to impress people.
When it gets you in trouble.
When people learn to take advantage of you.
What boundary type refers to yourself (your dreams, goals, etc.)
Personal.
What style do you identify with most? Why? Give an example from your life why you believe you have that style.
Open ended.
What is an example of crossing a romantic boundary?
A person continues to do something even though the other person said "No, I don't want to do this"
Peer pressuring the other person into doing something they don't want to do.
Someone is speaking to you in a disrespectful tone. How can you set appropriate boundaries with this person in that moment? What will you say in response to this person?
Tips:
Being assertive.
Knowing your limits.
Having respect for yourself.
Name 3 different people in your life that you have each of the 3 different boundary styles with and why that is.
Example-
Examples:
Rigid: Step-dad because I don't share anything going on in my life with him.
Porous: My bestfriend. She knows everything good/bad that I've ever done.
Healthy: Sister. I tell her most things about my life but I keep some information private.