Personal Boundaries
What is an example of a boundary that you have for yourself?
1. I will not be yelled at.
2. I will be left alone when I need time to myself.
Is lying to your friends a boundary violation?
Yes! Lying to your friends does not feel very good and it can hurt the friendship
True or False:
Boundaries do not matter in a family because you are family and live with each other.
FALSE
Boundaries are very important to keep in a family
Trust your_____
Self
True or False
Little lies are ok to tell my family because they will get over it.
FALSE
It is not usually ok to lie to your family
How can you tell someone that they are violating one of your boundaries?
1. Please do not touch or yell at me
2. I do not like when you do that behavior and you need to stop.
If you are seeing two of your friends arguing, is it ok to get in the middle of the argument and involve yourself?
No. It is not a good idea to involve yourself in arguments that do not include you. However, if you feel like helping, you may ask if your friends would like your support.
Why are boundaries important to have in your family?
Boundaries keep family members safe
Boundaries keep family members feel cared for
Boundaries show respect in a family
True or False
When we do something wrong, lying is only ok if it is a tiny lie.
FALSE
Lying is a boundary violation. It is never ok to lie because it creates distrust which hurts relationships.
Why is lying a boundary violation?
It causes distrust and when you can't be trusted, then people don't feel safe with you.
What can you do if a person keeps violating your personal boundaries after you have already asked them to stop?
1. Remove yourself from their presence
2. Tell a trusted adult
3. Tell your teacher
Is hi-fiving your best friend after winning a game a boundary violation?
No. It is perfectly acceptable to hi-give your friends.
Boundaries should be _____ as possible
Specific
Why is it important for you to mind your own business at school and not get involved in other people's problems?
Because boundaries are important and minding out own business helps to prevent us from violating boundaries.
However, if you see someone being treated poorly or you are being treated poorly it is good to ask an adult for help.
Is lying ok only if you do it so you don't get in trouble?
No, it is typically not ok. Often, you will likely be in more trouble for the lie than the mistake you made that caused you to lie.
If someone keeps violating your personal boundaries, it is acceptable for you to yell at them?
No. It is not ok to yell at people. We may politely tell others how we prefer to be treated.
Ex. "Please don't stand so close to me. I enjoy hanging out with you, but I also need more personal space."
Name one consequence that can happen if you violate your friend's personal boundary?
1. They stop being your friend.
2. Your friend will feel uncomfortable
If a family member asks you to stop doing something because it makes them feel uncomfortable, is it no big deal if you keep doing it?
No, it is definitely a big deal. Every family member deserves to feel safe. If you are doing something that makes your family member feel sad, mad, scared or bothered then they aren't feeling very safe.
True or False
Everyone at school has the exact same boundaries
FALSE
Everyone is different. There may be some behaviors that other people do not like that you may not mind. There may be some behaviors that really bother you, but your classmates are ok with it.
Is lying a boundary violation even if you don't get caught?
Yes, even if you are not caught, lying is a boundary violation. You will always get caught eventually.
Someone violates your boundary by taking some of your things. What is the best way of dealing with this using expected behavior?
I can ask them to please give my stuff back and that they need to ask me next time they take my things
Your friend is very upset and doesn't want to talk to you right now. What is the best way to respect his or her boundary
I can give them some space and then follow up with them when they are not upset to find out what happened and talk through it with them
What are two boundaries that everyone has in your family and how can you respect those boundaries?
Ex. No yelling, clean up after yourself, and treat others respectfully.
What are some boundaries at school with teachers and other kids and how do you respect those?
Different answers
How do you deal with a situation where you lie about something and then get caught lying about it? What is an expected way to deal with this?
-you can fess up to the truth and apologize for lying