Types of Boundaries
These boundaries relate to your personal space, touch, and physical needs.
Physical Boundaries
What is a boundary you have set at home?
Wanting privacy in your room or asking not to be teased.
True or False
"No" is a complete sentence.
True
Set a boundary:
"A friend frequently calls to vent without checking if you're available."
“I care about what you’re going through, but I need you to ask if I am available to speak with you before you start sharing with me."
Change this statement to an "I" statement.
"There is a misunderstanding here."
"I do not understand what is being discussed."
"I am confused"
What is an example of an emotional boundary?
Asking someone to stop doing something by expressing how it is making you feel.
Asking someone to stop talking about something by expressing how it is making you feel.
Telling someone topics that make you feel uncomfortable and asking them to not talk about them when you are around.
What should you do if a family member makes you feel uncomfortable?
Tell another trusted adult — it's okay to speak up, even if it's someone close to us or we care about.
True or False
Personal boundaries are best expressed when you demand someone else follows them.
False!
They are the rules we set for ourselves within our relationships. They should be expressed appropriately and explained how it would be helpful to you for them to respect them.
Set a boundary: You are waiting in line at a store and someone is standing very close to you, making you uncomfortable.
"Hey, please stand further away, you being this close is making me feel uncomfortable and I need some space."
Change the following statement into an "I" statement:
"You are always late to our appointments. You make me really angry when you don't respect my time!"
"I feel frustrated when our appointments do not start on time."
These boundaries seek to protect your feelings and avoid taking responsibility for other people's feelings
What is a respectful way to disagree with a family member?
Trying to stay calm & using our words, using "I" or "I feel" statements, like: “I see it differently,” or “I feel like you don't understand what I'm trying to say"
True or False
Healthy boundaries involve accepting when other people tell you "no."
True
Someone is repeatedly asking you, "What is wrong, just tell me." Set a boundary with them using "I" statements.
"I am not ready to talk about it, please stop asking."
"I need you to stop asking me that, I am not ready to talk about it."
You didn't clean up like you promised you would! You upset so much!
I feel frustrated that the trash hasn't been taken out yet. I would really appreciate it if you would take care for that.
These boundaries involve respect for thoughts and ideas.
Intellectual Boundaries
What are the signs that a boundary you set is being respected?
They stop when you ask, listen to your feelings, and follow your request.
True or False
Unhealthy boundaries do not involve the acceptance of abuse or disrespect.
FALSE!
Unhealthy boundaries DO involve the acceptance of abuse or disrespect.
Set a boundary:
"A friend asks you to stay up with them even when you’re tired."
“I know you want to talk longer, but I am tired. We can talk later.”
You always make me feel so small.
I feel insignificant when I tell you how I feel because it seems like you don't care.
This type of boundary refers to money and possessions. It involves setting limits on what you will share, and with whom. This boundary is violated when someone steals or damages another person's possessions, or when they pressure them to give or lend them their possessions.
Material Boundaries
You set a rule with someone concerning your belongings, and that person resents that rule. Does that say anything about your boundary?
No
Note: Their reaction reflects their own emotional struggle, not your boundary
True or False
You should only accept the influence of other people when deciding what your boundaries should be.
FALSE!!
Your boundaries are YOURS...they should honor and protect what is important to YOU!!
Set a boundary: You are with a group of friends and everyone is talking over one another.
"Hey, no one is listening to one another, let's take turns speaking and only have one speaker at a time.
You always have to have the last word! It's so annoying!
I feel annoyed when you insist on having the last word because it seems like you want to drag on our argument.