Healthy Boundaries True or False
Saying "no" when you don't want to do something is an example of a healthy boundary.
TRUE! You should always be able to assert yourself when you use healthy boundaries.
Introducing yourself politely when you first meet someone.
Good idea? Bad idea?
GOOD IDEA! Introductions are important and often stick with people as a first impression of the type of person you are.
Being polite, not burping in public, chewing with your mouth closed. Doing these all means you have good _______.
MANNERS
[DAILY DOUBLE]
These are examples of inappropriate Cell Phone behavior in public.
(Give at least 1 example).
Looking at nude or sexually charged images (like twerking or other provocative dancing), talking loudly, listening to voicemails on speaker phone, or other similar things.
[DAILY DOUBLE]
Your neighbor is having a wedding shower for their daughter. You do not know them very well and you were Not invited. After the shower is over you go to their house and ask to have some of their left over food. (Rude or Not Rude?)
Rude.
You do not know this person and it appears that you are only asking for a handout. It would be more appropriate to get to know them first and be a friend before expecting handouts.
Taking too much responsibility for the emotions/actions of others is a healthy boundary.
FALSE! We should respect others, but we are not responsible for someone else's life.
Yelling at someone when I am upset.
Good idea? Bad idea?
BAD IDEA! Try to think about why you are upset and ask yourself if your anger is in control, or if you are in control.
Playing your part in a positive way (i.e. taking turns, doing your part of a shared task, or working together).
CORRECT RESPONSES: Cooperation, Teamwork, Collaboration.
If you are in a group during instruction, at church during services, or watching a movie at the theater; when is an appropriate time to talk with the people around you.
Before or After the events that you are here to participate in.
Laughing at someone when they make a mistake or get the answer to a question wrong. (Rude or Not Rude?)
Rude.
No one likes to be laughed at. Try to imagine how it would feel if someone was laughing at you when you made a mistake. It probably wouldn't feel too good.
NOT expecting others to take too much responsibility for your emotions and actions
TRUE! You are in charge of yourself. You are an adult and it is your job to be responsible for your emotions and actions.
Burping while eating at the dinner table with guests.
Good idea? Bad idea?
BAD IDEA! This is a rude action and can make others think poorly of you. Feel the need to burp? Try to cover it up with a napkin and burp under your breath.
[DAILY DOUBLE]
Understanding that other people matter and have a right to speak, have opinions, and express their feelings. Having due regard for the feelings, wishes, rights, or traditions of others is.
RESPECT
[DAILY DOUBLE]
Texting with my friends while I am talking with someone in person is an example of....?
Bad manners/bad cell phone etiquette.
If you are talking with someone in person it is disrespectful to be looking down and texting someone else. How would you feel if someone was paying attention to their phone when you wanted to talk with them?
I see two people talking and having a conversation. I go up and interrupt them in the middle of their conversation about movies to ask how their lunch was. (Rude or Not Rude?)
RUDE.
It is impolite to interrupt others while they are talking.
*If you want to join the conversation, stand or sit nearby and wait for a pause to ask a question or make a comment. Try to make the question or comment related to what the people are already talking about.*
{BONUS POINTS: Can you give an example of this? The group will vote by raising hands to determine if it is a good example.}
“You can’t go out with your friends without me. You know how jealous I get. You have to stay home with me.” This sentence is an example of a healthy boundary.
FALSE! The person is trying to control someone else with their emotions. This is not a healthy way to deal with others.
Giving someone that you don't know very well money. They have paid you back in the past, but still owe you $5 from last week.
Good idea? Bad idea?
BAD IDEA! Even if they have paid you back in the past, they owe you now. Do NOT loan money to others that you do not know well or trust.
Considering what others need and what you need and then making a decision. Using "I feel...." statements.
ASSERTIVE
Playing games on your phone when someone is talking with you or you are in a meeting/group is an example of....
Bad manners/bad cellphone etiquette.
Wait until you are in a more private setting and use this time to enjoy your games in small doses. Remember not to spend hours playing, because there may be other things that you need to do (like the dishes, wash clothes, clean the house, take a shower, exercise, etc.). Take small and frequent breaks to do these tasks.
A peer is having a bad day and has been having bad symptoms. You try to comfort them and offer support by reminding them that they can use coping skills and positive self-talk. (Rude or Not Rude?)
Not Rude.
Great job! Being helpful and reminding others of ways to help with their mental health symptoms is not rude and can be helpful. It is good to offer support to others when they are in need. Remember to avoid making negative comments and statements that may make things worse for you and the peer.
“Sorry guys, I can’t go out with you tonight, my girlfriend gets really angry when I go out without her.” This sentence is an example of an unhealthy boundary.
TRUE! How someone else feels should not control how you feel or act in a situation.
Someone that you know is using an inexpensive item that belongs to you and you start yelling at them to give it back with a fist raised up to hit them.
Good idea? Bad idea?
BAD IDEA! Try talking in a calm tone first, be assertive and tell them that this is your property and you don't like them using it without your permission.
Focusing on the person, good eye contact, and listening to what they say means you are paying them...
Attention
You are in a meeting/group session/or other social gathering and want to say something unrelated to the subject that is being discussed.
What do you do?
Wait for an appropriate moment to talk, like a scheduled break time or when the person leading the social gathering calls for comments or questions.
(PRO TIP: You can write it down to help you remember to talk about later.)
You know you have food at home, but you did not bring lunch when you went out. You ask others around you for money to buy food or for the food they are eating. (Rude or Not Rude?)
Rude.
You have food and could have brought something, but you made the choice not to do so. It is your responsibility to bring food for yourself. It is not someone else's responsibility to feed you or supply you with money.