Types Of Boundaries
These boundaries relate to your personal space, touch, and physical needs.
Physical Boundaries
Change this statement to an "I" statement.
"There is a misunderstanding here."
"I do not understand what is being discussed."
"I am confused"
True or False
"No" is a complete sentence.
True
Set a boundary:
"A friend frequently calls to vent without checking if you're available."
“I care about what you’re going through, but I need you to ask if I am available to speak with you before you start sharing with me."
Set a boundary: You are with a group of friends and everyone is talking over one another.
"Hey, no one is listening to one another, let's take turns speaking and only have one speaker at a time.
What is an example of an emotional boundary?
Asking someone to stop doing something by expressing how it is making you feel.
Asking someone to stop talking about something by expressing how it is making you feel.
Telling someone topics that make you feel uncomfortable and asking them to not talk about them when you are around.
Change the following statement into an "I" statement:
"You are always late to our appointments. You make me really angry when you don't respect my time!"
"I feel frustrated when our appointments do not start on time."
True or False
Personal boundaries are best expressed when you demand someone else follows them.
False!
They are the rules we set for ourselves within our relationships. They should be expressed appropriately and explained how it would be helpful to you for them to respect them.
Set a boundary:
Your friend keeps borrowing your clothes without asking.
“I’m not comfortable with my things being used without asking first. Please check with me next time.”
Set a boundary: You are waiting in line at a store and someone is standing very close to you, making you uncomfortable.
"Hey, please stand further away, you being this close is making me feel uncomfortable and I need some space."
These boundaries seek to protect your feelings and avoid taking responsibility for other people's feelings
Emotional Boundaries
Why are "I" statements helpful?
They allow us to take responsibility for your own ideas and emotions.
Healthy boundaries involve accepting when other people tell you "no."
TRUE!
Set a boundary:
"Your friend sends dozens of texts while you are trying to do your homework"
“I love hearing from you, but I need to stay focused on my homework. Let’s talk after I am finished."
Someone is repeatedly asking you, "What is wrong, just tell me." Set a boundary with them using "I" statements.
"I am not ready to talk about it, please stop asking."
"I need you to stop asking me that, I am not ready to talk about it."
Boundaries can change. true of false. why or why not.
yes they can- free answer
What should "I" statements focus on when used?
The facts of the situation and personal emotions.
Your own thoughts, feelings, and needs.
True or False
Unhealthy boundaries do not involve the acceptance of abuse or disrespect.
FALSE!
Unhealthy boundaries DO involve the acceptance of abuse or disrespect.
Set a boundary:
"A friend asks you to stay up with them even when you’re tired."
“I know you want to talk longer, but I am tired. We can talk later.”
You are playing a sport and someone is using defense to aggressively.
"Your defense is too aggressive please tone it down"
These boundaries involve respect for thoughts and ideas.
Intellectual Boundaries
What should "I" statements not do?
Place blame on others or deflect feelings on to someone else.
True or False
You should only accept the influence of other people when deciding what your boundaries should be.
FALSE!!
Your boundaries are YOURS...they should honor and protect what is important to YOU!!
Set a boundary:
"Your mom is not listening to you and seems rushed."
“I’d like for you to listen for a few more minutes if you are available. You don't seem focused.”
What could you ask someone to help them use "I" statements?
What are you thinking?
What do you need?