Boundaries
What is a boundary?
Boundaries are the limits and rules we set within relationships for ourselves.
What is Step 1 of Boundary Setting?
Identify Your Boundary
What are the 4 communication styles?
Assertive, Aggressive, Passive, and Passive Aggressive
What is conflict resolution?
Finding a solution to a disagreement in a peaceful way.
Set one non-verbal boundary.
walking away, putting physical space between yourself and another individual, silence
What is the difference between a Rigid boundary and a Porous Boundary?
Porous Boundary - always open, come in and out
Why might you feel guilt when setting a boundary?
Why is assertive communication considered to be the most effective type of communication style?
It is direct yet respectful, expresses needs clearly without violating others rights, and promotes honesty and equality in relationships.
Active Listening is listening to understand, not to respond. It is an important part of conflict resolution. Why?
-when we listen, we connect more deeply to our own needs and emotions, and to those of other people.
- strengthens us, informs us, and makes it easier for others to hear us when it’s our turn to speak.
Set two verbal boundaries.
"You are close to my face and it makes me uncomfortable, please back up or I will leave".
"Do not touch me. If you touch me, I will report you."
"It hurts when you hit Mommy, please don't do it again. You can touch my face soft. If you hit again, I will put you down".
Name 3 Boundary Types
Physical or Sexual
Emotional
Time
Material
Mental
Internal
Conversational
guilt, fear, being unsure, feeling like a bad person
What is an "I" statement and when would you use it?
"I Statements" are used to help express in a first-person perspective which reduces defensiveness and blame.
We use it within boundary setting and conflict resolution.
How do you pick your battles?
-identify why this is a conflict and if the resolution will change anything
-ask yourself "is this worth my energy"
Respond to the following statement using passive, passive-aggressive, and aggressive communication.
Statement: Your friend always asks you to borrow some money when you go out, but they never repay you. You begin to resent that they do this all the time.
Aggressive, Passive-Aggressive, and Passive.
Name 4 reasons boundaries are important.
What is Step 2, 3, and 4 of Boundary Setting?
Communicate, Uphold, Consequence
What does assertive communication look like?
-direct
-clear
-firm
-calm
-eye contact
-relaxed stance
Resolution lies in releasing the urge to punish. Instead, either finding and coming to common ground, or letting the conflict go.
Role Play: Assertive Communication using "I Statements"
Statement: It’s Monday morning and you barely turned on your computer when your coworker walks into your office in tears to tell you about the horrible fight, they got in at home over the weekend…again!
What are some of the challenges of boundaries?
How does self-compassion or self-love connect with boundary setting?
If assertive communication is the most effective type, why do people use the other 3?
Fear, Safety, Lack of Knowledge, Dysregulation
What communication style is best used during a conflict?
Assertive Communication
Set a boundary using assertive, aggressive, passive-aggressive, and passive communication styles.
assertive, aggressive, passive-aggressive, and passive communication styles