TRUE OR FALSE
Having boundaries always means saying no
FALSE
Define at porous boundary or a rigid boundary
Rigid boundaries-building walls to keep others out
What are 2 warning signs you need better boundaries?
Overwhelmed
Resent others for asking for help
Avoid calls, texts, interactions with people who might ask for something
Talk about helping others but getting nothing back
Burned out
Daydream about running away from everything and everyone
No time for yourself
What is a way people avoid setting healthy boundaries?
Disappearing/Ghosting/Ignoring
Cutting people out of your life
Not responding to requests
Delaying setting the record straight
Gossiping or complaining about them instead
What is 1 type of boundary?
Physical-personal space and physical touch
Sexual- sexual comments, touch
Intellectual boundaries-thoughts and ideas
Emotional Boundaries- feelings
Material boundaries- your possessions
Time boundaries
Others learn a lot about you from how you treat yourself? T/F
TRUE
How you talk to yourself, talk about yourself, and treat yourself through behaviors impacts what other people think you will tolerate from them
Unlikely to ask for help.
rigid boundaries
Give an example of using assertive language to set a boundary?
I understand that you don’t like my boundary, but I need to feel safe in my relationship. Having limits helps me feel safe.
When you don’t respect my boundaries I feel ______
When I share things with you I want you to keep it to yourself
I hear that you have a lot of things going on. I don’t feel qualified to help you with this. Have you considered talking to a therapist?
I won’t talk to you if you keep raising your voice
I just said something and you dismissed me. Why?
Your comment isn’t funny. It’s inappropriate
My journal is private. Please don’t open it.
What are 2 reasons that keep people from having healthy boundaries?
“It’s Them Not Me”
“I Tried Before it didn’t work”
“I don’t want to be mean”
We don’t realize we need to set them
We focus on the worst case scenario
We don’t think we can tolerate the discomfort of setting boundaries
We aren’t taught about healthy boundaries
Aren’t sure where to start
Avoid discomfort of setting boundaries
What are boundaries?
You should give very long and detailed explanations for why you are setting your boundary. T/F
FALSE
Overexplaining your boundary gives room for people to object to your needs
Overshares personal information.
Porous boundaries
When someone violates your boundary you can…?
Restate it
Reduce your interactions with them
Give an ultimatum
Accept it and let go of the relationship
What is one communication style?
Assertive
Passive
Aggressive
Passive Aggressive
What might you feel if you don’t set boundaries
Anger
Frustration
Disrespected
Boundary issues can come from putting too many unspoken expectations on the other person
TRUE
Accepting when others say "no" to them.
Healthy boundaries
What are the 2 steps for settings boundary?
Verbally communicate your needs with assertive statements
Take action if the boundary is violated. (ex:“I want to spend time with you but my schedule won’t allow for the last minute adjustment. Let’s set up a time to get together next week.”)
Common Responses to Boundaries
Pushback
Limit Testing
Ignoring
Rationalizing and questioning
Defensiveness
Ghosting
Silent Treatment
Acceptance
What is a reason setting boundaries might not have worked before?
Other person wasn’t ready to hear you
Misunderstanding because you didn’t follow through
You fail to honor the boundaries you said so people didn’t understand you were serious
You made a request but didn’t set a boundary
You should only expect to have to set your boundaries once. T/F
Rigid boundaries
A PEER CALLS YOU A NAME AND YOU BECOME UPSET. ROLE PLAY AN APPROPRIATE RESPONSE TO THEIR NEGATIVE BEHAVIOR WITH A PEER FROM YOUR TEAM.
...
What is a sign of an unhealthy friendship?
Relationship is competitive
Exhibit your worst behavior when you‘re with them
Emotionally drained after interactions with them
Friend tries to embarrass you in front of others
You don’t have anything in common
They tell your business
You give more than you receive in the friendship
You can’t work through disagreements
Friend doesn’t respect boundaries
Relationship is codependent
You don’t take yourself seriously
You don’t hold people accountable
You apologize for setting boundaries
You allow too much flexibility
You speak in uncertain terms
You haven’t verbalized your boundaries
You assume stating your boundaries one is enough
You assume that people will figure out what you want and need based on how you act when they violate a boundary