Boundary Basics
Oversharing, codependency, and an inability to say no are examples of this type of boundary
What are porous boundaries?
A colleague tells sexually charged joke is an example of this type of boundary violation.
What is a sexual boundary violation?
What are ways to just say no?
Boundary areas we can set for ourselves
" Well I don't know if I can do that", " Thats not fair" or " I have things I need to do, but I'm not making YOU change." are examples of this type of response
What is a push back?
Never sharing, doing everything on your own, building walls, and avoiding vulnerability are examples of this type of boundary.
What are rigid boundaries?
Your partner unlocking your phone and reading your text messages without permission is an example of this type of boundary violation.
What is an intellectual boundary violation?
" I will need a refund.", " I'm not looking for feedback. I just need to vent.", "I'm at capacity, and I need help.", or using "I want/need/expect" are examples of how to do use this boundary strategy.
What are ways to express your needs?
What are things to avoid when communicating a boundary?
What is limit-testing?
You feel overwhelmed.
Resentful toward people for asking for help.
You avoid interactions with others who may ask for something.
You have no time for yourself.
What are signs I need to set healthy boundaries
What is an emotional boundary violation?
" I don't like it when you talk about my weight; please stop", " I don't like talking about politics at work." or " I don't want to be in the middle of family disputes, I will no longer be the mediator.", are examples of this type of boundary strategy.
What are ways to state the boundary violation?
Spending time with healthy people, protecting your energy, turning off your phone, unfollowing people who don't bring you joy are examples of this
What are self care boundaries?
This response is a passive aggressive way of pretending not to hear your boundary and builds resentment and erodes respect in relationships
What is ignoring?
You don't take yourself seriously
You don't hold people accountable
You apologize for setting boundaries.
You allow too much flexibility
What are reasons people don't respect my boundaries?
Your friend gets upset when you don't immediately respond to their texts is an example of this type of boundary violation.
What is a Time boundary violation?
" I can help you with your taxes, but my fee is $150" and " I'd like you to call before your visit" are examples of this boundary strategy
What are ways to set conditions?
Implementing too many changes at once, stating problems without presenting solutions, being aggressive and assertive and inconsistent are examples of these.
What are common boundary mishaps?
This response occurs when people feel attacked and often leads to them explaining why they did something.
What is defensiveness?
Physical, Emotional, Sexual, Time, Material, and Intellectual
What are the 6 types of boundaries?
Your partner takes money from the joint savings account without talking to you about it first is an example of this type of boundary violation.
What is a material boundary violation?
When you've tried to set boundaries, but your requests are continually violated, it might be time to terminate the relationship is an example of this boundary strategy.
What is accepting and letting go?
Burnout, resentment, self betrayal, and self sabotage are results of this.
What is not honoring my self boundaries?
This type of responds ends things without explanation, and generally used as form of punishment.
What is ghosting?