Boundaries 101
What is a boundary?
A boundary is a limit that communicates what you are comfortable with, what you need, and what you will or will not accept.
A friend respects your “no.” Green or red flag?
Green flag. Respecting a person's no demonstrates respect for their autonomy.
Someone asks for your phone password. Must you share it?
No. You can choose whether to share your password. Keep passwords private, and do not let someone pressure you into giving access to your accounts.
What does consent mean?
Consent is a freely given, informed, specific, and ongoing agreement. It must be given without pressure, threats, or coercion.
Name one trusted adult you could talk to about a health concern.
Any appropriate trusted adult, such as a designated group-home staff member, nurse, therapist, healthcare provider, or another safe adult.
Name one type of boundary.
Physical, emotional, digital, social, sexual, or personal-space boundaries. Accept any appropriate example.
Someone keeps asking after you said no. Green or red flag?
Red flag. Repeatedly pressuring someone after they say no ignores their boundary.
Can someone share your private photo or message without your permission?
No. Private messages and images should not be shared without appropriate permission. Intimate images can carry additional privacy and legal risks, especially for minors.
Can you change your mind after agreeing to something?
Yes. Someone can change their mind at any point. The other person must respect that decision.
What can you say when someone makes you uncomfortable?
“I'm not comfortable with that,” “Please stop,” “I need some space,” or “I don't want to talk about that right now.”
Is setting a boundary the same as being mean?
No. Boundaries help people communicate their needs and protect their well-being. A person can be kind and still say no.
Someone says, “If you loved me, you would do it.” What kind of flag is this?
Red flag. This is emotional pressure or manipulation. Affection should not be used to make someone feel obligated to do something.
What should you do if someone pressures you to send an intimate picture?
Do not send the image because of pressure. Stop responding if needed, block or report the person, and speak with a trusted adult. If someone is threatening you, ask a trusted adult for help rather than handling it alone.
Does being in a relationship mean you automatically consent?
No. A relationship does not equal automatic consent. Consent is needed for each activity, and either person can say no.
What should you do if a friend tells you they feel pressured into sexual activity?
Listen without judgment, remind the friend they deserve to make their own choices, encourage them to seek trusted support, and follow applicable safety-reporting procedures if there is a concern about coercion or abuse.
Your friend keeps borrowing your things without asking. What boundary could you set?
“Please ask before borrowing my things.” Another acceptable answer is to explain what the person can borrow and what must remain private.
Someone apologizes for crossing a boundary and changes their behavior. What does that show?
It can show accountability and respect if the apology is genuine and the person changes their behavior over time.
Someone you know online asks you to keep your conversations secret from every trusted adult. What is a safe response?
Do not automatically trust someone just because they are familiar online. You can decline, end the conversation, and seek help from a trusted adult. Requests for secrecy that isolate you from safe support are concerning.
What are two ways someone can protect their sexual health?
You feel embarrassed asking a healthcare provider a question about sexual health. What can you do?
Write the question down, ask privately, bring a trusted support person if appropriate, or tell the provider, “I have a question that feels embarrassing, but I need accurate information.”
Someone keeps interrupting you when you explain your feelings. Name a boundary and a way to communicate it.
Example: “I want to finish explaining before you respond. Please let me finish speaking.” The person can calmly repeat the boundary or step away from the conversation if needed.
Someone gets angry every time you say no and threatens to end the relationship. What is concerning about this behavior?
The anger, repeated pressure, and threat are concerning because they can be used to control another person. A healthy relationship allows both people to say no without punishment or intimidation.
Someone threatens to expose your private information unless you do what they want. What should you do?
Do not give in to the threat. Save relevant messages if safe to do so, block or report the person where appropriate, and tell a trusted adult or designated staff member promptly. Do not retaliate or forward private material.
What should happen if someone is unsure, pressured, asleep, or unable to freely agree?
Stop and do not proceed. You cannot assume consent when someone is unsure, pressured, asleep, or unable to make a decision freely. If there is a safety concern, seek help from a trusted adult or appropriate professional.
You crossed someone's boundary. What are three steps you can take to repair the situation?
Acknowledge what happened, apologize without making excuses, respect the person's request, and change the behavior. Do not demand forgiveness or expect the other person to comfort you.