I wouldn't eat after that two year old if I were you?
Why?
The two year old probably did something gross to the food.
I have to be broken before you can use me.
Rose, Violet, Daisy
What are flowers?
The Evergreen State
What is Washington?
here’s a one-story house in which everything is yellow. Yellow walls, yellow doors, yellow furniture. The stairs are.....
What is yellow?
For Valentine’s Day, my fantastic neighbor gave his wife a poem that took him about two seconds to write. Sheesh!
What was the poem like? Why?
Not very good because he took no time on it.
I’m tall when I’m young, and I’m short when I’m old
What is a candle?
Venison, Quail & Turkey
What are meats?
The "Show Me" State
What is Missouri?
A man who was outside in the rain without an umbrella or hat didn’t get a single hair on his head wet. He is....
What is bald?
A man ran after a retreating bus, waving his briefcase frantically.
Why is he frantic?
He will be late for work.
I am a month with 28 days.
Ugli, Papaya, Tangerine
The "Golden" State
What is California?
I shave every day, but my beard stays the same. I am.....
What is a barber?
Jake almost wished that he hadn’t listened to the radio. He went to the closet and grabbed his umbrella even though he would feel silly carrying it to the bus stop on such a sunny morning.
What did Jake hear on the radio?
The weather forecast for rain.
I am full of holes but still hold water.
What is a sponge?
Turquoise, Ruby, Onyx
What are precious stones?
The "Land of Lincoln" state
What is Illinois?
You walk into a room that contains a match, a kerosene lamp, a candle and a fireplace. What would you light first?
What is a match?
No, Honey, I don’t want you to spend a lot of money on my birthday present. Just having you for a husband is the only gift I need. In fact, I’ll just drive my old rusty bucket of bolts down to the mall and buy myself a little present. And if the poor old car doesn't break down, I’ll be back soon.
What does she want for her birthday?
A Car.
I go up but never come down.
What is age?
What are shades of blue?
The "Treasure" State
What is Montana?
David’s parents have three sons: Snap, Crackle, and what’s the name of the third son.
What is David?