Knowing Yourself
What is a trusted adult?
An adult you feel safe talking to and can go to when you need help.
Name one unhealthy conflict response.
Yelling, silent treatment, gossiping/spreading rumors, ghosting, insulting, post about it, threaten them, call them names, pretend it didn't happen.
What is a boundary?
A limit you set to protect your comfort, values, time, body, or energy.
True or False: Most unsafe relationships develop from unhealthy relationships.
True
True or False: Relationships are only between romantic partners.
False
What is an expectation?
How we want things to be, or how we think things should be.
What are 2 reasons why someone may choose an unhealthy conflict response?
Strong emotions (anger, sadness, stress, embarrassment), thoughts (wanting to get even, wanting to be right, making assumptions), experiences and influences (how you grew up, peer pressure, or not knowing better ways to respond).
What is one sign you may need a boundary?
If you feel uncomfortable, pressured, disrespected, unsafe, annoyed, or like your needs aren't being considered.
What is a red flag?
A warning sign that a relationship may be unhealthy.
Name 3 signs of physical distress (when "Amy" is taking over)
Trembling or shaking, pursing lips, clenching fists, jaw, or teeth, sweaty palms, breathing quickly, feeling like crying, increased heart rate, tensing muscles, glaring, chills, shudders, or goosebumps, headache, red or flushed face, shutting down or getting quiet, having a dry mouth, pacing.
What is an example of a realistic expectation someone may have for their friends?
Kindness, respect, fun/funny, makes time for you, supports you, etc.
What does WWA stand for?
What happened? When or where did it happen? How did it affect you?
What is the difference between a boundary and control?
A boundary is about your needs, comfort, safety, and choices. Control is about telling someone what they can or can't do, or making them change their behavior.
What is one sign a relationship is unsafe?
Patterns of extreme control, repeated boundary violations, threats, stalking, fear or intimidation, sharing private information, photos, or messages without permission, or physical or sexual assault.
What does the amygdala do?
Detects danger, activates fight or flight, controls reactions.
What is a value and why is it important to know what your values are?
The things that are most important to us. They can influence our decisions and the relationships we choose.
What are the 3 steps for taking a time out?
Say "I/we need a break" or some variation, do something that calms you down, and wait at least 30 minutes to return to the conversation.
What are the 3 categories of boundaries?
Physical, emotional, and digital.
If you or someone you know is in an unsafe relationship, what is 1 thing you can do?
Talk to your trusted adults/encourage them to talk to a trusted adult, explore support resources or hotlines, focus on safety & make plans to stay safe.
The 4 steps to problem solving are:
1. Try to understand each others needs and wants.
2. Brainstorm all possible solutions (write them down).
3. Use the process of elimination and compromise to find the best fitting solution.
4. ________________________________________
Follow up and check if it’s working, choose a different solution if not.
When should you talk to a trusted adult instead of relying only on friends?
When safety is a concern, when you need help handling a situation, or when the problem is bigger than your friends can reasonably help with.
What does S.A.F.E. Skills for Communication stands for S_____, Ask Questions, Find Out Feelings, Exchange Ideas for Possible Solutions
Stay calm
Give one example of a healthy response and one example of an unhealthy response to someone sharing a boundary.
Healthy: asking follow up questions, apologizing if a boundary was crossed or forgotten, respecting the boundary. Unhealthy: pressuring to change the boundary, violating the boundary, making fun of the boundary.
LoveIsRespect.org is a resource with information and supports for all kinds of relationships. Name one support this resource offers.
Quizzes, hotlines, textlines, safety planning resources, guides on supporting others, videos, and articles.
Some trusted adults are _____, meaning that they have to report abuse, neglect, or a significant harmful incident.