Accurate Empathy
This type of empathy involves correctly understanding another person’s experience, not just imagining it.
What is accurate empathy?
Telling someone what they should do, such as “You need to…” is this roadblock.
What is advising or moralizing?
Reflective listening turns questions into these kinds of statements, with the voice going down at the end.
What is reflective listening?
According to Miller, empathy is not the same thing as this pity-based feeling that actually creates emotional distance.
What is sympathy?
Asking repeated questions to gather facts or press for more information is this roadblock.
What is probing?
Instead of steering the conversation, good reflections let the speaker continue down this natural “path.”
What is their natural flow or experience?
This natural mental process makes people think they know what someone means but often leads to misunderstanding.
What is guessing or assuming meaning?
Saying things like “Don’t worry—everything will be fine” uses this roadblock that shuts down deeper sharing.
What is reassuring?
A listener must avoid doing this—planning their response while the other person is talking.
What is thinking ahead or rehearsing?
This “attitude” behind empathy includes curiosity, compassion, and stepping away from self-centeredness.
What is attitude of empathic understanding?
This “one-up” roadblock involves giving solutions or suggestions like, “Here’s what I would do…”
What is advising?
In forming reflections, listeners avoid adding this punctuation mark, which would make the statement a question.
What is a question mark?
Accurate empathy is described as this type of skill—meaning it can be improved over time with practice.
What is a learned skill?
This roadblock interrupts the speaker’s natural flow by changing the subject or making a joke.
What is distracting?
When done correctly, reflective listening gives speakers this emotional benefit, making them feel valued.
What is feeling heard and understood?