Family Roles
This family member takes care of others' need and emotions and problem-solves for others in the system. They might have difficulty with conflict. They take on this role to relieve their own anxiety and they don't realize that their helping hurts at times. This person lives with a lot guilt and is challenged with being able to focus on themself.
Who is the "Rescuer?
Heathy __________s show where one thing ends and another begins. ____________s in a relationship keep you physically, mentally and emotionally safe by defining what you are comfortable with and how you would like to be treated by others.
What is are healthy boundaries?
In a state of peaceful happiness; satisfied
What is content?
Seeing only the worst possible outcomes of a situation.
Catastrophizing
_____ is the point of overlap between your emotional mind and your reasonable mind, like on a Venn diagram. ________ is part reason and part emotion and what makes you know you're in this mind is often a sense of intuition. It can sometimes be described as an "aha" moment.
What us your "wise mind"?
This person is sometimes referred to as the "identified patient," meaning the person that the other family members feel needs the most help. Usually this is the family members who is in treatment. This person cares the family system's symptoms and is the obvious person with problems because the family system is not willing to work through its problems or doesn't have the skills to work through problems.
Who is the "Scapegoat/ Black sheep"?
The practice of taking action to preserve or improve one's own health - OR - The practice of taking an active role in protecting one's own well-being and happiness, in particular during periods of stress.
What is self-care?
In a state of general unhappiness, low spirits or hopelessness
What is depressed?
The belief that one is responsible for events outside their own control. "My mom is upset. She would be fine if I did more to help her."
Personalization
Imagery, Meaning, Prayer, Relaxation, One thing at a time, Vacation and Encouragement.
What is IMPROVE the moment?
Also known as the "responsible child." This person is a high achiever, carries the pride of the family, and overcompensates in order to avoid the image and feeling of being inadequate. They have the skill of being a leader, being an organizer, being goal oriented, and being self-disciplined. They often lack spontaneity, the ability to play, follow, and relax, and usually needs to be right.
Who is the "Hero / Good child"?
Accepting responsibility for our behaviors and attitudes and admitting mistakes.
What is accountability?
Calm, relaxed, easygoing.
What is chill?
Thinking in absolutes such as "always," "never," or "every." "I never do a good job on anything."
All-or-Nothing thinking
Temperature, Intense Exercise, Paced Breathing, Paired with Muscle Relaxation.
What is TIPP: Changing Body Chemistry?
This person works at keeping the peace in the system. this person does the emotional work of the family to avoid conflict. They act as a buffer. They might be doing this in the name of helping other but it might also be to meet their own needs. This can be a healthy role depending upon how a person fills their role. Do they trust others to work it out with little guidance or do they feel the need to direct each step along the way?
Who is the "Mediator" or "Peacemaker"?
Making decisions together. Being willing to compromise. Seeking mutually-satisfying resolutions to conflict.
What is cooperation?
A painful feeling of humiliation or distress caused by the consciousness of wrong or foolish behavior?
What is shame?
Interpreting the thoughts and beliefs of others without adequate evidence. "She would not go on a date with me. She probably thinks I'm ugly."
Mind Reading
Describe, Express, Assert, Reinforce, Mindful, Appear Confident, Negotiate.
What is Objectiveness Effectiveness: (DEAR MAN)
This person provides emotional support, creates safety, is available to others, and can be a Mediator. They focus on having and meeting emotional needs, usually in a balanced manner.
Who is the "Nurturer"?
*The members of the relationship are equal.
*Each person shows some flexibility in role behavior.
*Each avoids assuming an attitude of ownership toward the other.
*Each avoids manipulating, exploiting, and using the other.
*They encourage each other to become all that they are capable of becoming.
These are all characteristics of what?
What is a healthy relationship?
An emotion characterized by antagonism toward someone or something you feel has deliberately done you wrong. _______ can be a good thing. It can give you a way to express negative feelings or motivate you to find solutions to problems. But excessive _______ can cause problems in your life and relationships.
What is anger?
The assumption that emotions reflect the way things really are. "I feel like a bad friend, therefore I must be a bad friend."
Emotional Reasoning
1. Act in a way that makes the other person want to give you what you are asking for
2. Act in a way that makes the other person feel good about you saying no to their request
3. Balance immediate (short-term) goals with what is good for the long-term relationship.
What are the goals of using the GIVE technique?