Automatic Thoughts
Your girlfriend doesn't answer your phone call for two hours.
Your first thought is:
"She's cheating."
What is this called?
An automatic thought.
Somebody bumps into you outside the corner store.
Your first thought:
"He disrespected me."
Name ONE healthier response.
Ask if it was intentional.
Walk away.
Take a breath.
Don't assume disrespect.
Your friend doesn't invite you somewhere.
Your first thought:
"They fake."
What's another possibility?
They forgot.
It was family only.
They assumed I was busy.
Someone offers you fast money selling drugs.
What's one long-term consequence?
Jail
Probation
Violence
Losing opportunities
Instant gratification that often leads to short term pleasure
Change this thought:
"I'm a failure."
"I made a mistake, but I can learn."
Your homeboy gets promoted.
Your first thought is:
"I'll never be successful."
What makes this unhealthy?
You're comparing yourself and predicting the future without evidence.
Double Jeopardy
Someone posts about you on Facebook.
Everyone tells you to "slide."
What's another option?
Ignore it.
Talk privately.
Block them.
Think about consequences.
Your girlfriend says,
"We need to talk."
What's an automatic thought?
She's leaving me.
I messed up.
Something is wrong.
Pregnant
She found out my secret
What's one legal way to earn money that may take longer but builds your future?
Employment
Trade school
CDL
Entrepreneurship
Construction
Change:
"I'll never change."
"I'm changing one step at a time."
Someone gives you a dirty look at the gas station.
What's a healthier automatic thought?
Maybe they're having a bad day.
Maybe they weren't looking at me.
I don't have enough information.
You lose your job.
Your automatic thought:
"I'm back to trapping."
How do you Challenge that thought.
There are job programs.
I can ask for help.
One setback doesn't define me.
Someone apologizes.
Your automatic thought:
"They lying."
What question should you ask yourself to determine the lie?
What evidence do I have?
DOUBLE Jeopardy
Your friend says,
"You're soft because you got a job."
Challenge that thought. How does working benefit you?
Working is strength.
Providing for yourself is success.
Change:
"I always mess everything up."
"I've made mistakes, but I've also done things well."
Finish the sentence:
Automatic thoughts happen _________.
Immediately.
They come before we really think.
Your cousin says,
"Real men handle problems with their hands."
True or False?
False.
Real strength is solving problems without making life harder.
Someone says something disrespectful.
Does respect always require retaliation?
No.
Sometimes walking away protects your future.
Finish this sentence.
One good decision today can...
Change tomorrow.
Protect my freedom.
Help my family.
Open opportunities.
Finish the sentence.
Instead of asking
"Why me?"
Ask...
"What can I learn?"
"What can I do differently?"
True or False
Every automatic thought is true.
False.
Many automatic thoughts are inaccurate and should be challenged.
Name THREE consequences of reacting emotionally instead of thinking first.
Going to jail
Losing family
Violence
Getting fired
Violating probation
Hurting someone
Hurting yourself
Finish the sentence.
Healthy relationships should make me feel...
Safe
Respected
Trusted
Encouraged
Supported
Loved
Valued
Name three people who benefit when you make better decisions.
Children
Parents
Partner
Yourself
Community
Future employer
Name TWO questions you should ask yourself before believing a negative thought.
What evidence do I have?
Is there another explanation?
What would I tell a friend?
What's the worst that could happen?