Empathic Listening
listener is receptive or sensitive to the full range of social, cultural, and personal characteristics shared by the other person
These skills will help you directly reflect the other person’s perspective in the communication process
Reflecting skills
A metaphor was created by our friend, communication teacher Milt Thomas and he uses it to suggest a concrete graphic image of what is means to listen dialogically
Sculpting Mutual Meaning
when you’re listening and talking dialogically, you are not in control of what comes out of the communicating
Dia-logos as Meaning Through
orient your attention to the person you’re listening too
Focusing Skills
It is a restatement of the other’s meaning in your own words followed by a verification check” repetition of what others said using your own words and ask if it is correct
Paraphrasing
You don’t try to deduce or guess what internal state the other is experiencing. Instead you concentrate on the meaning you and the other person are mutually creating between yourselves
Focus on Ours
stay focused and give the other person plenty of room to talk
Attentive Silence
when you look the other person in the eye, you not only are acutely aware of him or her, but you are also directly available to that person
Natural and Appropriate Eye Contact
Contribute to the listening by asking the other person to respond to an example from your own experience”; give your personal example and ask if it makes sense to the other person
Adding an example
It actively and relevantly keeps the collaborative co-construction process going
Encouraging as in Nexting
these questions tend to promote defensiveness
2nd skill, “designed to “pull” more talk from the other person
Encouraging Skills
The first step is to identify when you think verbal/nonverbal inconsistencies have occurred. You have to be sensitive enough to recognize when the words a person is speaking don’t match the way he or she is saying them
Gently pursuing verbal/nonverbal inconsistencies
You can could meaning into the conversation by extending whatever metaphors the other person has used to express his or her idea, developing your own metaphors and encouraging the other person to extend yours
Run with the Metaphor
a judgement or opinion pretending to be a question
Pseudoquestions
repeating a key word or phrase of the others person’s with a question on your face and in your voice
Mirroring
There is no simple recipe for dialogic listening. This is something that anybody who wants to do can do, but it requires an overall approach to communicating that’s different from the stance most people ordinarily take when they listen or talk
Dialogic listening
Includes all of the elements of paraphrasing plus a small but important addition
Paraphrase Plus
you are not as focused as you will be when you start moving responsively and making responsive sounds
Move Responsively & Make Responsive Sounds