DEAR MAN
What does DEAR MAN stand for?
D= Describe E= Express A= Assert R= Reinforce
M= Mindful A= Appear Confident N= Negotiate
What does TIPP stand for? (say 2 out of 4 words to get full points)
(Temperature / Intense Exercise / Paced breathing / Paired muscle relaxation)
What does GIVE stand for? (say 2 out of 4 words to get full points)
Gentle
Interested
Validate
Easy Manner
You have to do a presentation in a couple of minutes, and your anxiety is at an all-time high. Name two DBT skills that you can use to calm yourself. Explain how each skill will be effective
Examples: rub an ice cube on hands and neck, asked to go for a walk, use the square breathing technique
Give an example of an I statement. ( hint: I feel… when…. because… what I need from you…..)
Ex: I feel mad when you make jokes about family because it’s a sensitive topic for me, so in the future could you not make jokes like that
Describe a situation that bothered you only using facts.
Ex: “Yesterday my brother and I got into an argument because he accidentally spilled coffee on me”
Give an example of when you used the DBT skill of TIPP (Temperature / Intense Exercise / Paced breathing / Paired muscle relaxation)
Ex: When I go upset with my parents, instead of lashing out at them I took a cold shower to calm myself down.
Give an example of how you can validate someone's feelings
Saying “that must be hard”
Saying “I can understand why thats frustrating”
You want to watch tv instead of going to rec, how would you use the DEAR MAN skill to communicate that to staff?
Staff decides what counts as answers
A staff member does something that upsets you, and it makes you feel like you want to awol. What skills can you use to calm yourself down so you don’t awol?
You can communicate what's upsetting you to staff using an i statement to resolve the conflict
You can tell staff how you are feeling, and ask to go on a walk
You can ask to take a cold shower to help calm down
True or False: When negotiating we always get what we want
False, negotiating allows the other person to understand your point of view more but that doesn't mean you’ll automatically get what you want
Give an example of how you can demonstrate the skill of temperature when feeling overwhelmed
You could take a cold shower
Get a piece of ice and rub it around your hands, neck, and face
Go for a walk outside
Wrap yourself in a blanket
What does the I in GIVE stand for (give an example) and how do you portray that?
Interested
Maintain eye contact, face them, don't let your thoughts wander, etc.)
Leo gets upset at his teacher because she asked to him read out loud, even though he told her he doesn’t like reading out loud. During class one of his classmates made fun of not wanting to read out loud. Leo noticed himself getting overwhelmed with is anger so he asked to go for a walk and started doing the square breathing technique. What DBT skill does Leo use?
Leo used the TIPP skill.
FREE POINTS (no questions just points)
Free Points
Describe the posture, eye contact, and tone of voice one would use when appearing confident
Standing or sitting straight with your shoulders back and your head held up, speaking clearly … etc.
What is your favorite skill in TIPP and why?
My favorite is intense exercise because it lets me get my mind off what's bothering me and it lets me get my energy out
If you're asking staff for something and you're yelling at them, you're not what skill in the GIVE technique
Gentle
You had a bad day at school, and you notice that everyone on dorm is bothering you. Instead of picking fights with other students, and being disrespectful to staff, what could you do?
Tell staff how you're feeling, so they can help you feel better
Ask staff to go on a walk
Communicate that you are not in a good mood to others so they leave you alone
True or False: If someone is looking at the ground, mumbling, and slouching they are appearing confident
False
Each member in the group has to give an example of when they used a part of the DEAR MAN technique
Example: I used parts of the DEAR MAN technique when I was explaining to my professor why I should get an extension
Give an example of how you could use the skill TIPP in this scenario: One of the kids in your class makes a joke that gets you angry, once other kids start also laughing you notice yourself getting angrier and angrier. How could you use the TIPP to calm down?
You ask staff if you go on a walk
You could use the square breathing technique
You could tense your muscles and release them until you feel calm
In a conversation and you acknowledge someone’s feelings what part of the GIVE technique are you using
Validate
One of your best friends makes a joke about your family that gets you mad. What do you do? (Hint: think of DEAR MAN or I statements)
Example answer: you could express your feelings by saying “ I feel mad when you make jokes about family because it’s a sensitive topic for me, so in future could you not make jokes like that”.
Name three people on campus you can go to when you feel angry, or upset
A social worker in dorm
Care workers
Social work interns
Dorm supervisors