Hari Natal
Navidad, meaning Birth
What is Spanish?
To lampshade Santa never being seen throughout the year, Thomas Nast decided he must live in this inhospitably icy place.
What is the North Pole?
This family of Elves adopted the infant Claus after a wintry wind dropped him off at their doorstep. The baby took on their surname through his young life.
Who are the Kringles?
These pastries, laden with heavy ingredients such as rum-soaked citrus, raisins, walnuts and lots of extra butter, are better known nowadays for their mock-worthy density and general regiftability than for their actual taste.
What are fruitcakes?
The primary character in his own story and the antagonist too, this penny-pinching curmudgeon had many chances to mend his avaricious ways, but not until he sees the damage he has caused to others and the joy they will feel when he's gone does he choose to change.
Who is Ebeneezer Scrooge?
Kalikimaka, which is a localized mispronunciation of "Christmas"
What is Hawaiian?
To lampshade the improbability of a "chubby and plump... ripe, jolly old elf" being able to enter houses through narrow openings, the movie "The Santa Clause" shows that his body transforms into jell-o to allow him to safely descend these type of structures. For houses that don't have them, he comes down other openings.
What are chimneys?
This Human, portrayed by Will Ferrell, was raised thinking he was an overly tall Christmas Elf.
Who is Buddy?
The sixth most common regift are these how-to style books that often have such gimmicky titles as "Peruvian Style Chinese Food" and "Vegan Recipes for Carnivores" that may not suit the tastes of the giftee.
What are cookbooks?
This Christmas curmudgeon, recognized by his green fur, may hate Christmas because his shoes are too tight or because his head isn't screwed on just right.
Who is the Grinch?
Weinacht, meaning White Night
What is German?
Various interpretations of Santa Claus lampshade him entering these dangerous locations by fireproofing his suit.
What are fireplaces?
This token Elf of the Fellowship of the Ring may not be thematically tied with Christmas presents but he certainly knows his way around bows.
Who is Legolas?
Ranked as the second most common gift from single women over forty, these fragrant household decorations are also ranked the seventh most common regift. It is easy to tell if someone has already lit them up at least once...
What are (scented) candles?
This ultimate Christmas curmudgeon committed one of the greatest atrocities in the history of the world in an effort to retain his unearned title of "King" of the Jews.
Who is Herod (the Great)?
Shèng Dànjié, meaning Holy Birth Festival
What is Chinese?
To lampshade the obvious incongruity of caribou defying gravity, the Winter Warlock in "Santa Claus is Comin' to Town" happened to have on his person this mystical food with no other purpose than to make reindeer fly.
What is Magic Feed Corn?
This head Elf travels with his dimwitted brother and the youngest reindeer at Mrs. Claus' request to the warm south in search of Christmas cheer.
Who is Jingle Bells?
The "perfect" gift for weddings and other important life events, these common amenities that allow individuals to show off their precious moments are, in fact, the fourth most regifted item. According to experts, that's because they're so easy to obtain that most people tend to buy one for themselves if they have something to display.
What are picture frames?
This portly curmudgeon rules his town with an iron fist, requiring the children to wear drab clothing, wash their stockings daily and not play with toys.
Who is der Burgermeister Meisterburger?
Quviasukvik, meaning Time of Rejoicing. Not Christmas per se, but has been fused with elements of Christmas for centuries. (Hint: Think far north)
What is Inuktitut (Inuit)?
Even if the jolly, fat man were to travel with the rotation of the earth gaining an additional 23 hours through time zones, he would have to travel to almost 4 million houses around the globe travelling approximately 3.5 million miles per hour which is about 4,500x the speed of sound, visiting an average of twenty houses a second. Many different speculators have lampshaded this by saying Santa's Christmas magic has the power to break down, freeze or in other ways alter this omnipresent fourth-dimensional superstructure.
What is the Space-Time Continuum?
This Elf, initially shamed for his dislike of craftsmanship, is eventually acknowledged as an oral hygiene professional despite having no formal schooling and only one unsupervised surgery.
Who is Hermey?
The most commonly regifted items are these articles of clothing that have become part of the modern Christmas tradition, not because they are well-liked but because they are itchy and garish. They can really only be used before the day they are typically given...
What are (ugly) Christmas sweaters?
Driven by insatiable greed, these ill-fated curmudgeons end up in a sociopathic game of cat and mouse with a precocious pre-teen at least two Christmases in a row. Doctors predict one of them would have died no less than nine times and the other at least fourteen times in just their two encounters.
Who are the Wet/Sticky Bandits (Harry and Marv)?