Funny
What do elves learn in school?
The elf-abet.
What do you have in December that you don't have in any other month?
The letter D
How many presents can Santa fit in an empty bag?
Only one – after that, it’s not empty anymore!
What falls in the North Pole but never gets injured?
Snow
Where do Santa and Mrs. Claus enjoy going for a swim?
In the North Pool.
What do you get when an apple and a Christmas tree have a baby?
A pineapple
In what year did Christmas Day and New Year’s Day fall in the same year?
Every year
What do you call a person who is afraid of Santa Claus?
Claustrophobic
Why is Santa good at karate?
He's got a black belt.
What do you call an old snowman?
Water
Where does Christmas come before Thanksgiving?
In the dictionary
What did Adam say the day before Christmas?
It's Christmas, Eve!
Who is the most impolite and disrespectful of all the reindeer?
Rude-olph
What's a deer with no eyes?
No eye-deer (no idea)
Why didn’t the turkey want to eat on Christmas?
It was stuffed.
If a lion had a Christmas music album, what would it be called?
Jungle Bells
What do you call a snowman in the summer?
A puddle
What's a deer with no eyes and no legs?
Still no eye-deer (still no idea)
If otters keep their money in riverbanks, where does Frosty the Snowman keep his money?
In a snowbank
On Christmas Eve, when Santa leaves his workshop on the north pole, what direction does he travel?
South. If you’re on the North Pole the only direction you can go is south.