Circle
A simple visual image that allows us to translate our child's needs into a clear and understandable roadmap for attachment
What is the Circle of Security
Part of the Secure Base that involves observing your child as they play
What is Watch Over Me
Part of the Safe Haven that involves helping children when fear overtakes them - whether from imaginary or real danger
What is Protect Me
An action the parent is willing to take to be someone the child can count on to use their grown-up skills and experience to keep the child safe
What is Taking Charge
Feeling well cared for and connected. Imperfection is acceptable. I can express my vulnerability and request comfort, trusting you care. (clue _ Sensitive)
What is Esteem Sensitive
A capacity learned within a particular kind of relationship that allows for joy when life goes well and resilience when life gets difficult...once established i offers a depth of trust and opportunities for success that supports lasting fulfillment
Part of the Secure Base that involves the parent smiling and using non-verbal expressions of joy while watching the child play
What is Delight in Me
Part of Safe Haven that involves offering empathetic comfort in response to child's distress
What is Comfort Me
Knowing a devoted parent or caregiver is emotionally available to "Be-With" the child whenever needed
What is The Heart of Secure Attachment
Trusting I am capable, life isn't easy i can do hard things with important others in the background, and I can step away from relationships that do not support me. (_ Sensitive)
What is Separation Sensitive
The section/location of the circle, also known as the Secure Base, offering support of child's exploration
What is the Top of the Circle of Security
Part of the Secure Base involving sharing and enjoying the child's activity with her/him as the child invites the parent to do so
What is Enjoy With Me
Part of Safe Haven when the adult responds to a child's need for a quick smile, filling her emotional cup, or when the child needs the message that even when in distress they are cherished
Mental associations that make something unthreatening feel dangerous. A mental alarm/sensation that is usually formed from childhood experience and triggered by a child's needs on the circle.
What is Shark Music
"R&R" : recognizing when we've made a mistake, apologizing, and making amends.
What is Rupture and Repair
The section of the circle, also known as the Safe Haven, which welcomes a child returning for comfort
What is the Bottom of the Circle of Security
Part of the Secure Base offering children just enough help to learn or do the new task by themselves
What is Help Me
Part of the Safe Haven when the parent helps the child understand and manage the feelings they are sharing
What is Organize My Feelings
The opposite behaviors (compared to when a parent/caregiver has their Hands On the circle) of being bigger, stronger, wiser, and kind
What is being Mean, Weak, or Gone
Being able to process our own emotions in a healthy way (which can also enable us to help others process their emotions)
What is Emotion Regulation
The part of the circle where the adult is bigger, stronger, wiser, and kind
What is Hands on the Circle
A single theme parents can focus on as they seek to attend the child's needs on the circle. Secure love that says "I care about your needs. I honor them. I want to understand what you're feeling."
What is Being With
What is a miscue on the Bottom of the Circle
When a parent sends a mixed signal of encouraging the child to go explore and play but then finds a way to pull the child back to the parent's side
What is Miscue on Top of Circle
When we miss the opportunity or send mixed messages instead of meeting someone's needs on the circle. Starts with an M and can be fixed with a repair.