Circle of Concern
Cannot control or influence
The circle of influence is for aspects of my problems that I can __________ or ___________.
influence in some way
control
True or false: I can do nothing about problems over which I have no control.
False.
lessons learned
his choices in similar situations in the future
his attitude toward being sick
his thoughts about being sick
Louis Zamperini showed perseverance in four major areas/events of his life. Name one.
Olympic running
life boat
prison camp
forgiveness
Name three things a person cannot control or influence:
Another person's behavior
the weather
their physical height
the natural color of their hair
the past
who their ancestors were
How can you increase the amount of control or influence you have over your problems and outcomes?
By focusing on solving parts of your problems that fall within your circle of influence.
attitude
Sam is nervous for a test in Science. What are three things he can put in his circle of influence?
emotions - Sam can practice coping skills to help himself calm down
thoughts - Sam can tell himself that his nervous feelings are just his body preparing him for the challenge of the test
behavior - Sam can study for the test
choices - Sam can choose to go to bed early to ensure he does well on the test
etc...
Define a core value
a core value is a quality that is important to you (that you value) that guides your decisions throughout life.
Janet is frustrated because her sister won't stop making noises. Is this something that she can control?
No. Janet cannot control others' choices. However, Janet can influence them.
Define proactive
proactive is taking steps to address things that are within my control or influence.
Acceptance
Jennifer wants to go water-skiing with her friends, but she's afraid of being on the water and can't swim. What can are three things she can write in her circle of influence?
Limits - Jennifer can decide not to go on this outing
Behavior - Jennifer can practice swimming in a pool to prepare for the trip, Jennifer can research the real chances she has of being hurt on the trip. Jennifer can research ways to maximize her safety while on the trip
Choices - Jennifer can decide not to go, she can talk to her friends/family about her fears
attitude - Jennifer can see the problem as an opportunity to face a fear and try something new
name four values
integrity, responsibility, proactivity, wisdom, curiosity, love of learning, creativity, etc...
Ben is mad that his parents don't have enough money for him to travel the way his friends do over the summer. Is this something Ben can control?
No. Ben cannot control how much money his parents make.
If something isn't your fault, is it your responsibility to improve your situation?
Things can be someone else's fault, but by taking responsibility for what I can influence in a situation, I am taking my power back and maximizing my own well-being.
True or false: I cannot control my knee-jerk reactions to a stimulus?
False. As I practice pausing in between stimulus and response, I increase my power to choose.
Brianne is behind on her goal that is due in less than one month. She is worried she won't accomplish it. What are three things Brianne can write in her circle of influence?
behavior - Brianne can ask for help, adjust her plan to make up for lost time and work her plan
choices - Brianne can choose if she should continue with her goal as written or adjust it appropriately. Brianne can choose to check with her teacher to see if this would be okay
thoughts - Brianne can choose to encourage herself with her thoughts instead of putting herself down, since she knows that encouragement will help her succeed more than berating herself.
What do each of the letters in "SMART" in the name "SMART goal" stand for?
S - specific
M - measurable
A - achievable
R - Relevant
T - Time-bound
Cindy wants to run a marathon, however, she isn't in shape and has never run long distance. Is her ability to ever run a marathon something Cindy can ultimately control?
Yes. While Cindy can't run a marathon today, she can take steps to prepare to be able to run a marathon in time.
What is the difference between aspects of problems you can control and those you can influence?
If you can control it, you have direct control over the outcome. Your ability to change the situation doesn't depend on anyone else but you.
If you can influence it, you might not have control over the whole problem, but you can do things to increase the chance that the outcome will be one you want.
I cannot control all of my thoughts or what people say about me, but I can control whether or not I ____________ or ___________ them.
believe
challenge
(Only need one for points)
Jason's car broke down and he is worried he won't be able to drive to school. What are four things he can write in his circle of influence?
choices - Jason can choose to get to school another way, give up a shopping trip to save money to fix his car, choose the thoughts he will believe to help him cope
Behavior - Jason can ask for help, work to find a way to fix it
emotions - Jason can write circles of influence/concern to help him cope with his emotions and think of solutions
change his focus - Jason can focus on being glad that his school is within walking distance while he is waiting until he can fix his car.
Why is having a support team important when working toward successfully reaching a goal?
- to encourage
- to hold accountable
- to provide resources
- to help generate ideas
- for moral support
- to help reduce stress